Monday, 27 July 2009

I am having a Fat Day

Today, I am mostly having a fat day! I am feeling fat, bloated and down right ugly!
My hand and arm are still bruised from the canulas, I have been taking arnica and rubbing arnica cream into the area and that does seem to have helped. I have ordered a stress ball from Amazon UK called fukitol - quite funny really. I am going to use that to exercise my left arm and try to get some decent veins for my next round of chemo in 10 days time.
I had a nice day today though. Spent some time blogging and face booking then shot off into Wrexham town to take some photographs for Fridays Shoot Out - Outside Food. A bit difficult in our country because it always seems to rain but I have taken some interesting photos.
My Olympus camara is quite old for a digital these days so on my birthday / christmas list I am going to ask for an updated version. I would like one that can zoom in so that I can get closer shots if I desire. My camara is adequate for now and I am pleased with the pictures taken.
Had a cup of tea with my friends Fran and Ceri which was really pleasant. Frans son Oliver is 3 years old and is a real handful, reminded me what Harry was like 5 years ago! He pretended to be a tortoise and then transformed into a friendly cat. I love Oliver, he is really entertaining and just a lovely little boy.
So, still feeling fat, thoroughly hating my reflection and praying for each day to pass taking me ever nearer to the end of my treatment. I am always told not to wish my life away but that is what I seem to be doing these days..... September 10th cannot come quick enough..... last chemo session and 19 years to when my brother died - what an emotional day that will be.
Was a bit sad because I thought my neighbours had gone away for a few weeks but it seems it was a long weekend. Ding Dong the Witch is Back, Ding Dong the wicked Witch is back.... Really shouldn't sing that but the person in question has been so mean to me, even posted a photo on face book wearing a scarf and pulling a face...... I leave you to draw your own conclusions my friends.....


  1. Enjoy your "fat" day. Seriously. I believe that if we don't acknowledge those feelings when they happen we are shutting off part of ourselves. You need to revel in your feelings today and scruffle around a bit (my own word ... just made it up! It's okay to make up words!). Tomorrow will be a different day. Maybe you'll be like Oliver and be a tortoise that turns into a cat. And if you are still feeling "fat" -- do not, I not look at yourself in the mirror. Do not torture yourself!!

    September 10th will be a very bittersweet day for you. I hope you are making plans to do something that makes you feel good, that pampers you.

    And as for your neighbour...a wise friend once told me, "don't let the turkeys get you down". Ignore her. She's a child. Petty and unfeeling. And remember karma. You need do nothing at all. It will happen in it's own time. Forgive her for being ignorant and then close your mind to her as best you can. ♥

  2. Hey, thanks for the comment! I haven't been able to work for the same reasons--I worked with horses and it was awfully dangerous for me to be around them when on narcotic pain meds and not having full use of my hands due to the chemo (neuropathy). We do have a disability insurance program through Social Security here in the States, but I applied for it and was denied. They said I was quite capable of working as the chemo was doing its job--yeah, right. It's BECAUSE the chemo is doing its job that I felt so lousy. So, I am in the process of appealing, but it is a long drawn out deal. Supposedly, if you are approved, they retro your benefits back to the date you applied, which for me was January.

    I hear ya about feeling fat! I gained almost 25 pounds from the steroids and being sedentary! It's coming off (slowly), so hang in there--it doesn't last forever.

    Forget about your neighbor--people like that are not worth fussing over. I believe in karma, too! Everyone gets what they time.

  3. Sara, I am having a fat....i least! Im on prednisone and sweets keep mysteriously appearing in my hand. It's all so mysterious!

  4. Sept 10 was the day I was diagnosed but it also when by new grandson is due. Talk about mixed blesings. So you have a friend with an Oliver-a rare name in the US but it's my precious grandson's name who I will see this Saturday.
    As for my former friend, I did send her a letter as you suggested. I'll see if I'll get a reply. We were very close friends for 29 years and now she avoids me like the plague. So, so mean and I just don't know why.

  5. A little time with friends and a day off shooting photos sounds perfect! Just stay away from mirrors when you are having fat days - problem solved!
    I think we need to start a wicked neighbor club - I have one too!

  6. Ack. There must be awful people in every neighborhood. I live in the woods, and I've got one...

  7. Hi Sara, love the bookshelf! I am going to look into one too... do you follow Sarah's blog, you would probably enjoy this post

  8. thanks everyone for your positive comments and making me smile!


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