Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Why are people PIGS!!! (but thats insulting pigs)

The day started so well with a cup of tea with my friend then the post man delivered this parcel from my other friend. How surprised and pleased I was to open it and find this lovely sign "Faith, Hope, Love" and a card from my friend. I hope you don't mind if I share your sentiments S because they are so so special: "This sign made me think of you as soon as I saw it! FAITH: I have every faith in you! I know you will beat this disease and be an inspiration to others! HOPE: I hope that once youre treatment is completed we can meet up and become firm friends for the rest of our very long lives! LOVE: I know how much lov eyou have being sent to you from so many people but more importantly you reciprocate that love!"

Needless to say that this sign and this card will stay close to my heart for the rest of my life!

I have told you about my wedding ring and how it doesn't fit me anymore and I was afraid of having to have it cut off and ruining it forever. I am taking Beths advice and I am going to wear my wedding ring around my neck. However, despite the fact that my finger is permanently indented with the mark of my wedding ring, I feel naked going out in public without wearing one. My marriage is important to me and by not wearing a wedding ring I feel as though I am denying my vows and being dishonest. I know its silly but the last time I had to take it off, I was heavily pregnant but now, I have no outward reason for not wearing one in the eyes of the public.

I decided to purchase a cheap wedding ring to wear just to see me through treatment. I opted for a white gold band because I didn't want one that looked like my old ring because that would be a lie. I had to laugh because the shop assistant asked me if I wanted to take an extra 2 year insurance cover on it but I assured her that by then I will be wearing my own precious wedding ring and this one will be religated to the historical archives of my life!

This brings me to the title of my blog! When I arrived at Argos, there were plenty of parking spaces but because it is a silly designed car park I wanted to reverse my car into a space so that I would have a clear line of vision when I exited. At the same time, a car opposite was waiting to pull out so I reversed into the space quickly. When I got out of the car I checked to make sure that the car was within the white lines and it was (although parked rather crookedly). There was a parking space on one side next to the footpath and about 4 free spaces on the other side.

Off I merrily went into Argos to make this emotional purchase and when I returned, a little Suzuki yellow truck was parked awkwardly in the space next to the footpath. It was placed at such an angle that I couldn't get into my car! I started to take down the registration number when an old fella turned up and asked me if I wanted him to move it. He then said to me " I can't move it because your car is there" so I replied "but your truck wasn't there when I parked my car, this space was empty" he then launched into a load of abuse saying "there are lots of spaces here you could have parked in, why didnt you, my van was here already". What had happened was, he had parked his van on the footpath, I couldn't see this because of the bushes then when he had finished his work, he reversed it into the space but at such an angle it made it impossible for either of us to exit.

Well..... there is one thing I will NOT tolerate and that is being called a liar. I am not a confrontational person and I don't know what happened to me but I argued back. I argued back with such tenatious conviction that the man backed down and kept insisting to move his van. I pointed out the legality of parking on a footpath "nobody uses it" was his reply, "how do you know" was mine.... You catch the drift.

Anyhow, argument over.... I got in my car and broke down into floods of tears. Why did he call me a liar? Why was he so abusive? I called my husband at work and he calmed me down and assured me that this is what modern people are like now.... and in his line of work..... he should know!

Having analysed this incident I have concluded that two good things or points have come about because of this matter

1. I now know that I could be a matyr, I would die for my convictions. This is a strong statement to make but I know that I could never accept being called a liar, it wouldn't have mattered to me what that man did I would not have backed down or surrendered by belief in myself.

2. The fact that I was not wearing any head gear just my bald head with its re-growth and the chap obviously didnt grasp that I was a cancer fighter, I must have looked normal and ok to him! That little fact has cheered me up no end!

I decided to stop at my church Christ Church, Rossett. All was dark and quiet within but I went to the side chapel and said a prayer for myself, other cancer fighters in my life and I prayed for a blessing on my new and very temporary ring! I also cried alot but emerged from church feeling better, stronger and replenished.

But, seriously? Can anyone answer my question? Why do people have to be so nasty?


  1. Great post Sara! I am always happy to see you make the best of a situation. Who knows what makes people so nasty sometimes, but you showed him it wasn't getting him anywhere. Whatever their personal tragedy or other reason, there is no excuse for being so nasty to other people.

    And a temporary wedding band is a great idea.... enjoy!

  2. There is no answer to that question Sara, other than ignorance. Some people, out of lack of knowledge are ignorant. And some people use that as a defense mechanism. I wrote a post about this back in March which you can read here if you like


    What you have learned through this cancer experience is that it is okay to speak up for yourself. It is okay to stand up for yourself, to be firm and to be strong.

    The reality is that man knows he was wrong but hadn't the courage to back up, apologize and admit that. He hadn't the courage to realize that you are already dealing with enough and didn't need him dumping on you. To him you looked vulnerable and that made him feel "strong". Obviously he's a very weak man...and you showed him how wrong he was about you.

    Kisses and hugs...you're a good woman!!! ♥

  3. Sara I put a link on my Facebook page just yesterday about nasty people, and you know what a time I have had recently with this kind of person! But always in my mind I know that I am better than they are and rise above it, but like you I will always fight back if I know I am right! You were right to do what you did!
    I was so glad to see my gift on your page, in fact it brought a tear to my eye that it meant so much to you! And no, I don't mind you sharing what I had written in my card, because everybody who knows you and reads your blog page will know this about you already! And every word written was done so with sincerity!
    Sharon xxx

  4. Oh Sara, I'm so sorry that you had to land on such an awful man! But good for you sticking to your ground.

    I love your temporary wedding band, I might have to go get one for myself. I took off my wedding band & engagement ring about a month ago. My finger feel so empty, I keep touching it with other fingers and it just doesn't feel right. I tried them again before vacation and still didn't fit. Brilliant idea :)

  5. People act goofy because of fear and ignorance.

    I think the lesson learned here is that even going through cancer treatment you are still a strong and powerful woman.

    I like the ring idea.

  6. People are awful sometimes, but I think that we have an obligation to do the right thing. You did the right thing. You've no idea what happened to him when he left. Do the Godly thing and then let God work.

  7. It never ceases to amaze me, the way people behave. Good for you for standing up for yourself. Perhaps Mr. Truck will think twice before he parks so inconsiderately next time.


I value each and every comment left, they keep me going and give me strength!