Why are people PIGS!!! (but thats insulting pigs)

The day started so well with a cup of tea with my friend then the post man delivered this parcel from my other friend. How surprised and pleased I was to open it and find this lovely sign "Faith, Hope, Love" and a card from my friend. I hope you don't mind if I share your sentiments S because they are so so special: "This sign made me think of you as soon as I saw it! FAITH: I have every faith in you! I know you will beat this disease and be an inspiration to others! HOPE: I hope that once youre treatment is completed we can meet up and become firm friends for the rest of our very long lives! LOVE: I know how much lov eyou have being sent to you from so many people but more importantly you reciprocate that love!"

Needless to say that this sign and this card will stay close to my heart for the rest of my life!

I have told you about my wedding ring and how it doesn't fit me anymore and I was afraid of having to have it cut off and ruining it forever. I am taking Beths advice and I am going to wear my wedding ring around my neck. However, despite the fact that my finger is permanently indented with the mark of my wedding ring, I feel naked going out in public without wearing one. My marriage is important to me and by not wearing a wedding ring I feel as though I am denying my vows and being dishonest. I know its silly but the last time I had to take it off, I was heavily pregnant but now, I have no outward reason for not wearing one in the eyes of the public.

I decided to purchase a cheap wedding ring to wear just to see me through treatment. I opted for a white gold band because I didn't want one that looked like my old ring because that would be a lie. I had to laugh because the shop assistant asked me if I wanted to take an extra 2 year insurance cover on it but I assured her that by then I will be wearing my own precious wedding ring and this one will be religated to the historical archives of my life!

This brings me to the title of my blog! When I arrived at Argos, there were plenty of parking spaces but because it is a silly designed car park I wanted to reverse my car into a space so that I would have a clear line of vision when I exited. At the same time, a car opposite was waiting to pull out so I reversed into the space quickly. When I got out of the car I checked to make sure that the car was within the white lines and it was (although parked rather crookedly). There was a parking space on one side next to the footpath and about 4 free spaces on the other side.

Off I merrily went into Argos to make this emotional purchase and when I returned, a little Suzuki yellow truck was parked awkwardly in the space next to the footpath. It was placed at such an angle that I couldn't get into my car! I started to take down the registration number when an old fella turned up and asked me if I wanted him to move it. He then said to me " I can't move it because your car is there" so I replied "but your truck wasn't there when I parked my car, this space was empty" he then launched into a load of abuse saying "there are lots of spaces here you could have parked in, why didnt you, my van was here already". What had happened was, he had parked his van on the footpath, I couldn't see this because of the bushes then when he had finished his work, he reversed it into the space but at such an angle it made it impossible for either of us to exit.

Well..... there is one thing I will NOT tolerate and that is being called a liar. I am not a confrontational person and I don't know what happened to me but I argued back. I argued back with such tenatious conviction that the man backed down and kept insisting to move his van. I pointed out the legality of parking on a footpath "nobody uses it" was his reply, "how do you know" was mine.... You catch the drift.

Anyhow, argument over.... I got in my car and broke down into floods of tears. Why did he call me a liar? Why was he so abusive? I called my husband at work and he calmed me down and assured me that this is what modern people are like now.... and in his line of work..... he should know!

Having analysed this incident I have concluded that two good things or points have come about because of this matter

1. I now know that I could be a matyr, I would die for my convictions. This is a strong statement to make but I know that I could never accept being called a liar, it wouldn't have mattered to me what that man did I would not have backed down or surrendered by belief in myself.

2. The fact that I was not wearing any head gear just my bald head with its re-growth and the chap obviously didnt grasp that I was a cancer fighter, I must have looked normal and ok to him! That little fact has cheered me up no end!

I decided to stop at my church Christ Church, Rossett. All was dark and quiet within but I went to the side chapel and said a prayer for myself, other cancer fighters in my life and I prayed for a blessing on my new and very temporary ring! I also cried alot but emerged from church feeling better, stronger and replenished.

But, seriously? Can anyone answer my question? Why do people have to be so nasty?

Rings

Not very good pictures, I know but these are my most treasured posessions; my engagement ring, my wedding ring and my eternity ring.

Each ring tells its own story. Each ring marks a stage in my life.

The reason they are not on my fingers, is because my fingers have swelled and they are too tight now. My mother recently had to have her 22 carrot (really thick) ring cut off because of her arthritus and she was gutted at having to damage such a precious thing so I decided to remove mine just in case.

The engagement ring is a cluster of little diamonds, shaped into a flower. A few years ago I paid £100 to have it repaired because the claws had become worn over the ten years I had worn it. The jeweller was happy because, "Its lovely to see jewellry being worn and not kept away".

My wedding ring..... well, I don't have to explain why that is precious do I? 15 years of marriage and 16 years together. We each wear the same style and inside mine there are my husbands initials and the date we were married and inside his are my initials and the date we were married. I remember our honeymoon in Spain were this ring got its first scratch!

The eternity ring was a birthday gift from my husband to me the birthday which followed the birth of our first son Joseff. Joe was about 10 weeks old at the time, my husband misdirected my gaze and as he did so, he put the ring into Joe's lap and there it was in its little packaged box.

The only time I have not been able to wear these rings was when our second son Harry was born. I swelled up so much I just couldn't wear them for the last 6 weeks.

My mum keeps telling me to treat this chemotherapy as a pregnancy, remember what it was like she tells me, there were things you couldn't do then as well. Only at the end of this chemo, I dont get to hold a perfect little baby, I get my life!

Has anyone else had problems with swelling? I dont know if I am just fat or it is indeed the steroids. However, my ring and little fingers on my left hand are near to the veins that were damaged after my second round of Epi-R and I get pains down the fingers too.

Ah well, next time I will tell you the story of how my husband and I got together, thats a good one!