Sunday, 23 May 2010

Race for Life 2010 and Goodbye

Today has been a little emotional for me because the Race for Life means so much to me. I ran it in 2008 but because of my own cancer fight, was unable to do it in 2009. Being able to take part this year is sort of like being able to draw a psychological line underneath the whole fight with breast cancer. In the words of Mike Peters "I'm right back where I started from...." and that is good.
My life has been changed completely by cancer and not necessarily for the worst. Yes, I do still have side effects; acid reflux for which I have to take medication, flaking and brittle nails, aches, swollen fingers... but I am ALIVE, I am HERE, I am living this wonderful life that I have been allowed to keep.

I have made some amazing friends through cancer. I have met some pretty amazing nurses who have cared for me over the last year and a half. I am living life to the fullest each and every day and those days I feel fatigued, I don't beat myself up about it or feel guilty - I accept it and move on.

My treatment won't be finished until October 2010 but I feel that I really have got back to where I started. Fitness wise, I do have a long way to go because I can only manage a mile run these days compared to my 10K before cancer was diagnosed BUT weight wise I am back to my pre-diagnosis weight and within my BMI and all of my goals are achieveable.

However, I am no longer in a rush to achieve them now!
So on this note, I bid farewell to Cancer Ain't Gonna Beat Me, its time to move on with my life. I had cancer, I beat it and now I am fighting back.
My new blog can be found at I do hope you will follow me there.
Its been a blast so with tears in my eyes, I bid you goodbye, Hwyl dda xx

Thursday, 20 May 2010

I had my heart scan today at the hospital and its good news... I still have one and its still working well! I will only have one more heart scan in August now seeing as how I am almost at the end of my herceptin. I can't believe how quickly time has passed.

Summer seems to have arrived today and we hit a high of 23 degrees which is totally amazing. Poor old Cola still has remnants of his winter coat so he needs to shed that pretty quickly. He was a naughty boy yesterday, thought he was a stallion when we were out on our hack. I made him work his energy out though and today he was alot quieter.

Had a hair cut - yipee! Just a trim to the back because I am growing it into a bob and from there it may go down to my shoulders, I haven't decided yet.

Harrys birthday tomorrow and he is so excited. He has promised his teacher and his deputy head some of his birthday cake and a party bag! I will follow through because it is important for him!

Wednesday, 19 May 2010


This cheeky chap is my youngest son, Harry Llewelyn (named after two great Princes). He is going to be 9 years old on Friday and I can't believe how fast the time has flown.
Harry was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and has help at school. He struggles with language and communication and this doesnt just mean the spoken word, it covers social language, gestures, the unwritten code of conduct... He also struggles with change so any change in routine no matter how minor will affect his sleeping patterns and his behaviour.
So as his birthday approaches, I have had a testing time with Harry. His behaviour during these periods of unrest push me beyond comprehension. Today, I am struggling with a tension headache and feeling sick, my tummy is all knotted up.
I know that a birthday should be fun and eagerly anticipated. Harry doesn't really know when his birthday is, he still isn't sure when his party will take place and this confusion leaves him anxious.
So only a couple of days to go and hopefully the storm will have passed.

Sunday, 16 May 2010

Secret Post and Muleberry Show

I am lucky to be a member of Heathers Secret Post Club Once a month I am sent the details of the person I need to send a package too and my details are given to someone else. The idea is that you receive a package but its a surprise. My package arrived on Saturday from mamacrow and I was thrilled to bits because of the thought and care put into my package. Mamacrow had obviously read my blog because she has gifted me the most appropriate things: a nail buffer and nail strengthener for my brittle and splitting nails, a gorgeous book mark, a poetry book on horses and a packet of polo mints for our pony Cola - how kind! Thank you mamacrow from the bottom of my heart!

There was an Old Man of Nepaul
From his horse had a terrible fall;
Though they split quite in two,
By some very strong glue
They mended that Man of Nepaul
by Edward Lear (1812-1888)
Harry and Jason

Today we went to Muleberry show about half an hours drive from us in North Wales. Our friend was competing with two of her Shetland ponies and we decided to tag along for the experience. The only bad thing that went wrong was the fact that Harry lost his wobbly tooth and did actually lose it on the show ground. This is him crying with his dad. We have told him to write a letter to the tooth fairy and she will still visit him tonight!

Llinos with Mari-Ann and Eleri (her daughter) with Ernie
Llinos and Eleri did so well today bringing home over 10 rosettes with quite a few firsts. This photo was taken during the last class of the day for them and it was the championships. Mari-Ann is only 2 years old and up until last Thursday had never been led in a head collar before. There are alot of things that filly hasn't experienced but thankfully, she has landed on her hooves and has found herself a wonderful and caring home - under the careful handling and love of Llinos, this filly is going to shine.

The views from the show ground were stunning as it was located at the base of Rhuallt hill.

The sun was shining and although it was still chilly, it was a glorious day, a perfect day for showing! When we get our trailer fixed up, Cola will be competing at this show, lets hope he wins lots and lots of rosettes!

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

12 down 6 to go

I have just come home from Wrexham Hospital following number 12 of my herceptin treatments - only 6 to go!

The sister always canulates me because my veins are so small and quite damaged with chemo and canulisation. I worked out today that so far, I have had 24 canulas inserted and that doesnt include the times when I have had more than one or two attempts. Its when you think like that, you realise just how battered your veins are.

My oncologist is retiring this month so I will be in the hands of a new oncologist. However, as I am almost at the end of my treatment I am not really concerned. I have a heart scan booked for next week but I don't anticipate any problems, its seems that I am made of strong stuff.

It is so good getting my energy back. I feel as though I am back to normal most of the time. I am on the go constantly and enjoying riding Cola, walking the dogs and generally just having the energy to enjoy life.

What I don't have the energy for is people who tick me off! Not many people annoy me but those who do just aren't worth the bother.

I am going through a transition at the moment and pretty soon I will be posting my last post on Cancer Aint Gonna Beat Me and I will be moving to Sara's Fight Back. So watch this space...