Saturday, 11 July 2009

I wished I lived in the middle of nowhere!

It was always my dream..... to live in a house in the middle of nowhere! No neighbours, nobody passing by all the time. Just me and my animals. Just a dream, just a dream.

Reality is I live in a pleasant little village where I know practically everyone through my years doing Avon, dog walking, babies - children, walking to work, my dog grooming business etc etc. I am quite integrated into village life!

My house is small and semi detatched. I never stop wishing it was bigger but its adequate for me, my husband, 2 boys and my animals.

The house is situated in a quite cul-de-sac of nine houses. We live on the outskirts of the village and are surrounded by fields and wild life. I like it here or I would if it weren't for some "people".

I have been fraught battling breast cancer since I found my lump in January of this year. It is a battle to remain positive and get through the operations, test results, treatments - a fight or maybe "all out war fare" and on the whole I have had so much support from my village; cards (so many), flowers, vouchers, magazines, books, text messages, emails, phone calls... the list goes on! In fact, I am going to write an open letter of thanks to all in our village magazine "Essentials".

However, there is an element of sadness. A person I considered a friend turned against me just over a year ago. The story is a long one and spans over a few years involving other friends who remain dear to me.

When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I didnt receive a call, card or acknowledgement. The parties went on without letting us know in advance, knowing what I am going through with chemo (despite the public charade). This person has experience of cancer.

I decided to put out the olive branch because I was fed up with the nastiness and the bitterness. I am not a bitter person. I will not let bitterness, hate, resentment live in my soul. Negative breeds negative - positive breeds positive.

However..... this person despite greeting me now remains the same. A party is scheduled today (I found out about by accident) means noise and my children being kept up. I am so tired from chemo and my tummy hurts and grumbles constantly. I am running on a short fuse and I just don't need it.

I feel really sad today..... sad because I just don't understand why people have to be so nastyand inconsiderate. Why can't they think of others? I was brought up to "think of others before myself". Mum always told me to put myself in others shoes and if I didn't like it then I shouldn't do it.

Why do I feel so isolated on this one?


  1. It is hard to realise that some people just aren't nice or just don't care. Poor you. try to remember that you are only responsible for your own behaviour - their behaviour is no reflection on your feelings or efforts.
    With love,

  2. Just remember that you are a well loved and well thought of person Sara, can she say the same your FAQ? I doubt it! People are probably only friends with her because they are afraid not to be, not a good reason to be friends with someone, or a good friend to have! It will all come back at her one day! Rise above her and know that you are better than she can ever be!! Thinking of you! Sending lots of love and hugs, Sharon xxxxx

  3. I understand how you feel, the same has happened to me....its sad but that is what happens when you least expect it, people are there and then they are not there when you need them the most. I accepted hurts. Be are loved by your family and that is important to have family.

  4. Sorry Sara about your neighbor, geez, what are people thinking? Can't you make a noise complaint with the police? Not sure how it works over there but here in the US, I certainly would send the cops over! Try to get some rest through all this.

  5. I sorry this happened Sara. People can be so unkind at times.
    It sounds like your not feeling well and your doing right by taking care of you.
    If someone has been like that for some time I doubt they are not going to change.You need positive people in your life..the less negative the better. Cancer is hard enough with out negative people who enjoy making others feel bad.
    Take care of you!

  6. It's hard Sara and unfortunately there are people out there like that and sometimes we have to know when to let go or it will eat us up. I know all to well as I have a daughter who for some seem reason doesn't seem to care. It's all about herself....sad as it is I had to let it go and will wait for her to come around now. We need to be able to enjoy those good days without the stress of everyone else.

  7. Nice picture, look at that long hair! Your village sounds so quaint and friendly. Hope you get some sleep.

  8. One of the harder "gifts" to accept with cancer is that we find out who is important in our life and who is not. That "friend"? Was never really a friend. Whatever it is that will not allow her to be kind is her issue. And she will carry that stone with her until she decides to change. You on the other hand have learned even more about forgiveness. You have cleansed your heart in this matter. Yes, it still hurts to be excluded. But realize that while we are thankful for the blessings that we do have, we must also be thankful for the ones that we do not have. It's early yet to grasp that...when treatment is over and you are feeling more like yourself, you will understand better what I'm saying. Is this woman and her crowd really "worth" the energy you are expending? Energy that would be more fruitful and beneficial to yourself and those who do love you?

    It's hard and it hurts. But it will pass. ♥

    By the way -- the photo you are using on your facebook badge is gorgeous!


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