It was always my dream..... to live in a house in the middle of nowhere! No neighbours, nobody passing by all the time. Just me and my animals. Just a dream, just a dream.
Reality is I live in a pleasant little village where I know practically everyone through my years doing Avon, dog walking, babies - children, walking to work, my dog grooming business etc etc. I am quite integrated into village life!
My house is small and semi detatched. I never stop wishing it was bigger but its adequate for me, my husband, 2 boys and my animals.
The house is situated in a quite cul-de-sac of nine houses. We live on the outskirts of the village and are surrounded by fields and wild life. I like it here or I would if it weren't for some "people".
I have been fraught battling breast cancer since I found my lump in January of this year. It is a battle to remain positive and get through the operations, test results, treatments - a fight or maybe "all out war fare" and on the whole I have had so much support from my village; cards (so many), flowers, vouchers, magazines, books, text messages, emails, phone calls... the list goes on! In fact, I am going to write an open letter of thanks to all in our village magazine "Essentials".
However, there is an element of sadness. A person I considered a friend turned against me just over a year ago. The story is a long one and spans over a few years involving other friends who remain dear to me.
When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I didnt receive a call, card or acknowledgement. The parties went on without letting us know in advance, knowing what I am going through with chemo (despite the public charade). This person has experience of cancer.
I decided to put out the olive branch because I was fed up with the nastiness and the bitterness. I am not a bitter person. I will not let bitterness, hate, resentment live in my soul. Negative breeds negative - positive breeds positive.
However..... this person despite greeting me now remains the same. A party is scheduled today (I found out about by accident) means noise and my children being kept up. I am so tired from chemo and my tummy hurts and grumbles constantly. I am running on a short fuse and I just don't need it.
I feel really sad today..... sad because I just don't understand why people have to be so nastyand inconsiderate. Why can't they think of others? I was brought up to "think of others before myself". Mum always told me to put myself in others shoes and if I didn't like it then I shouldn't do it.
Why do I feel so isolated on this one?