Sunday, 12 July 2009

A Miracle Happened

I have purchased a new scanner and have been busily scanning old photos (yet another thing I wouldn't have done if it weren't for Breast Cancer!). Pictured above is my first dog Bobbi. She died 10 years ago this coming August. She had leukemia and she was 5 years old.

Bob was my life. She got me through the most difficult times in my life when I felt so desolate and lonely. The walks we had through Darland Woods, me offering her my heart and her accepting, always doing funny things to make me smile. Eventually, after 5 years, the fertility treatment worked and I was blessed with my eldest son Joe. Bobbi even got me through labour which was fast and intense. No breaks in pain, just 2 hours of PAIN! She threw balls for me when I tried to bathe waiting for my husband to come home and followed me around like a shadow. We only just made it to the hospital in time because I insisted she be left with my mum just in case the labour went on too long. Half hour later, Joe was born!

She was with me throught the night feeds, always invisably attached to my leg! Imagine, having everything you want in this world..... a fantastic husband, nice home, the baby you always longed for and the dog you wished for when you were 8 years old then to find that it was all going to end... just like that.

I always called Bobbi "my gift from God" or "my wish come true" because when I was a child I prayed for a dog all of my own. It would be a girl, small and scruffy and she would want just me. Bob was all of those things and more.

I think that when her job was done with me (and that was to get me through the baron years) she was called back. Since my cancer diagnosis, I have felt Bobbi so close to me I can practically smell her and feel her hair in my hands. She was a miracle.

Talking of miracles, another one happened yesterday. As you know, post chemo, steroids out of my system, I was so tired I could barely speak coherently, could hardly walk but still kept fighting on which in itself is really hard to do. I found out about the neighbours plans on face book so I actually posted a comment myself hoping that my neighbours remembered that I was still fighting cancer....

The close remained quiet....... Having viewed FB it seems the party was taken elsewhere, not far but the house is on the main lane and detached....... Did they do this because of my comment? Did they do this because they actually considered me? I don't know and I never will. Sadly though the gesture was spoilt by a barbed comment this morning "great time, no complaints..."

Whatever miracles happen in life, I am just so happy that they happen, especially last night!


  1. Sara there will always be that one who insists on having the last word, but sometimes the last word can make a fool out of the one insisting...

    I'm glad it was taken elsewhere, That was your "miracle"
    I hope you are feeling better...

    Alli xoxo

  2. Petty people are just that .. petty. Don't allow them to get to you. Move on with the good life that you have and don't mourn for what you think you've lost. From all you are saying, you haven't "lost" anything. You are being shown the way and what does matter to you. Remember to keep your eye on the prize.

    As for your lovely Bobbi...there is such a connection between pets and people, such love that I'm quite sure you can feel Bobbi's spirit with you now. Allow that to comfort you as you let these people "go". I know they live too close...all you need to do is be yourself, smile, greet them and carry on. You can do this. I know it.

  3. Well Sara, one more thing that connects us, infertility! Although our children came to us through adoption since treatment were never succesful. That said, I love the way you talk about your Bobbi, sounds like a wonderful dog.

    And I wouldn't worry about the neighbors, they might have want to have the last word, but the last ACTION was that they cared enough to take the party elsewhere and you got to rest :)

  4. Thanks everyone for your comments. It has been a bad day for me in one way or another. Post chemo blues and difficult neighbours. You are right though, at least they cared enough to take their part elsewhere so that was a miracle in itself and sadly those people will never know how much I appreciated that!

  5. Dear Sara you are absolutely beautiful and I am so happy that you have your children, they are two true miracles.

    I love your companion dog who helped you not be alone.

    Sara don't let comments bother you and you never know if they had nothing to do with you at all. We think everything is about us and most times it isn't.

    I love this post.

    You are stunning.

    Love Renee xoxoxo


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