Tuesday, 25 August 2009

I Feel Like I have Lost a Year of My Life

I do, I really do!

I look back on 2009 from the date I found the lump in January, through all my treatment and the fact that I won't start feeling myself until the new year and it upsets me because my entire world has been turned upside down.

.At this point; I know I should be grateful. Grateful that I found the lump and it hadn't spread and I am having treatment and I am alive but I feel as though I was FORCED onto a roller coaster ride I didn't want to go on and my life has run away with me. Roller coasters make you feel YUK so I think its a fairly good description of life as a cancer fighter

:0( No running

:0( No swimming

:0( No dog grooming business although some of my customers have been incredibly loyal

:0( I have missed out on so much fun with my kids; zoo trips, camping, riding........

:0( So tired all of the time I hate having to choose what activity I will do today

:0( Missed a great Take That Tribute party on 13th Feb when I was being sliced open

:0( Missed out on trips away with my friend

:0( Didn't get that family holiday abroad we were longing for

Ooooooh I could go on and on and on and on and on and on

Sorry I am being a bit moany today but sometimes being a Cancer Fighter makes me cross!


  1. I know the feeling. We've been robbed of a year of our lives!

  2. You have lost a year of your life. And it sucks. And you are on a roller coaster (that's what I called it too!!), but in some ways it's like a merry-go-round (carousel) because you keep going in circles and wonder when you will get off.

    When you are a few years past this, you will look back, and hopefully, no longer say that you lost a year of your life. You will be able to say "I gave up a year of my life so that I would have these years and as many more as possible". Trust me. In time, when you look back it does look different. ♥

  3. I think it is more than ok that you moan hon!! Get it out there and feel better!! A good rant is sometimes the very best thing. You have without doubt all the right in the world to feel this way. Let Fly girl!!!! Hugs, Sarah

  4. Hi Sara.
    I know it's a terrible ride and we are not able to do so many of the things we have been used to doing. Eventually we do come off the roller coaster ride, some earlier than others and some much later. I am still on it and it has been over 1 1/2 years and hopefully by 2 years I will get off.I have tried to find some alternatives to the things we love to do but still it's not the same.
    Try to keep positive thoughts, I know it's hard but eventually you will get back to doing the things you love.
    Sending you some hugs and smiles :):):)

  5. I have been in Cancerland almost a year (come 9-10)and still feel I am not 100 % the same as before but I am getting closer. Once you are off the chemo, things will be better, I promise. Right now I am focussing on my new grandson's difficulties in breathing also gradually resolving thankfully. You are almost out of chemo, hang in there.

  6. Yes it is sad when I think about it ... I try not to think about it too much.


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