Wake Me Up When September Ends

June 1984, Ryton Police Training Centre. Peters passing out. L-R: My dad, Peter, my younger brother Gareth adn my mum.

The flowers at Peters funeral. The pink posy was from his little daughter, the one next to it (the heart) was from me. The gold one from Auntie Heather and Uncle Phil and the large one with red roses was from Team 5 CMB - Peters work colleagues.

This is the song by Green Day, a fabulous and moving song. I identify with it perfectly because my big brother Peter died in September; September 10th 1990. The words encapsulate exactly how I feel/felt, it will be 20 years though next year in 2010. Now, my very last chemo session should take place on that date, 19 years on. It will be a day of mixed emotions. Going through the last session of evil drugs, missing my brother....

I did try to bring joy to the month by getting married on 3rd September and it did, it did... but September is always a difficult month for me.

Such a morbid topic, such a sad one.... However, as September and the end of my chemo approaches, my thoughts do turn to Peter and the co-incidental date.

The floral tributes to Peter were amazing but these days it makes me too sad to visit his grave, I prefer to look into nature and think of him that way. If I do lay flowers down then they are sunflowers; tall, strong and bright, just like him. I usually put money into animal charities though, quietly and only him and I know.

Nightingale House have been planting Forget-Me-Knot flowers to raise money for the hospice and I have donated one in Peters name and one for my Nain. Flowers, thats a lovely way to be remembered.