Session 4/12: Parties and celebrations

What a week!

Harry had his 8th birthday at Funky Monkeys in Chester, what a brilliant boys birthday party! The laser party he had took place in a play barn, after hours so we had it to ourselves. The lights went out, the rock music started, the flashing lights flashed and the kids went off to do battle. There were 9 of them altogether and they had so much fun. It was professionally run, the organisers loved kids and had a wonderful enthusiasm for making it a great party (can be sadly missing in the UK). The look on Harrys face made it all worth while. Of course, we had nuclear fall out after the party as we always do when Harry is overstimulated but we had planned for that this week and it was no surprise. He kicked, screamed then fell asleep - sign of a great party!

I went to Talk 4 Talk on Wednesday after getting my blood test done at the hospital. I met my friend D who has recently had her operation, she was having all her tests done followed by her meeting with my/our oncologist. We had a hug and she is like me, pretty up beat and positive about the fight ahead, its the only way you can be. Another survivor was there who had just finished all her treatment, an inspiration to get through this nightmare! Group was good, nice to see my favourite friends J, J and M - you will know who you mean if you read this!

So.... brings us back to today! Chemo day! The last round of Epi-Reubison!

For the first time in my chemo treatment I was scared, really scared. I couldnt sleep last night, felt subdued, had nightmares and when I got up this morning I felt physically sick with the anticipation.

What triggered it? I think it was a mixture of things; the fact my veins aren't always forthcoming, one blew on one occasion, my arm and veins are so sore and stiff, I feel really sick when the drug first hits my body, the lady who cried last time at her first session... it all played on my mind and scared me.

However, when we got to the hospital, my husband enquired about having IV anti-sickness drugs rather than tablets and they said it might make a difference so we tried that. The nurse was fab! I told her I was scared and she was so gentle, I hardly felt a thing, not like the other times. Oh, I forgot to say that this time my white blood cells were fine so no hanging around for more tests which was brilliant! The IV poisen went in quickly too and the nurse brought me the best cup of tea ever!!!!

The nurse made me laugh when she put the anti-sickness drugs in, she said it would feel like I was sitting on a hedgehog. I was giggling and waiting for the experience and when it came I couldn't help but laugh my head off. It was like eating moon dust but obviously, the sensation wasn't on my tongue but on my bum!!! How funny!!!!

So now....the epi-R is over, and I am hoping that the CMF is ok too and my hair grows back! I am half way (virtually) through my chemo. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

As we left the Shooting Star Unit, I saw the lady who had cried the last time and it turned out that I used to work with her partner. I enquired how she got on and she was very negative so I guess her war with cancer is going to be a hard fight :0(

Harrys actual birthday today was fab! My relatives came over which means so much to us and Harrys little friends came around. Of course, Harry was hyped up again and tried to pistol whip C with his clone trooper gun! However, he kicked, screamed, got taken off to our bedroom to relax and now he is sleeping next to me in my bed, the happiest and most whacked boy in the world.

I feel grotty. The show is over, the make up is off and I am allowing myself to give into the effects of chemo (for a while).

Today, I will go to sleep and thank God for my wonderful sons, husband, family, friends, my pets, and most of all for my life and for being so lucky in catching the cancer quickly and that it was in a "good" place. I also pray for those close to me to take comfort in the fact that I am a fighter (the Jones dont give up), a history of really strong women in my family, I have the best medical attention FREE and I am here for the duration! I am lucky.