Thursday, 7 May 2009

Session 3/12: Why are People so Selfish?

The above is an old picture of Rossett Mill before it was renovated
I am a good natured person, I accept people for what they are, warts and all.
I am a believer in the fact that nobody is perfect and to love someone is to accept the good and the bad in them too. The bad bits are frustrating at times but if the good bits outway the bad, a blind eye can be turned,
However, this seems to be an ongoing trend in my life. Friends who come into my life and take, then take a little more, then more... until in the end, my friendship is tested to the hilt.
I have experienced this recently as you can probably tell by the tone of my blogs and I am begining to lose patience.
I put others before myself.
If I can do a favour then I will.
I consider others feelings and desires.
Why oh why do I not get this back?
With some friends I some times wonder if they have actually realised that I am fighting cancer and undergoing chemo. Yes, I put on an act, yes, I smile, I laugh and I enjoy my life because that is ME but it doesnt mean that I am not tired or in pain or discomfort.
At the moment, I seem to be going through an angry phase in my treatment.
ANGRY: because I didn't want breast cancer
ANGRY: because I didn't want to lose my hair
ANGRY: because I hate feeling tired and uncomfortable all the time
ANGRY: because I have had to put my business on hold
ANGRY: because I have had to delay my races and race ambitions and stop running
ANGRY: because I can't even swim
ANGRY: because, because, because, because, because
.... everyone elses lives are going on and certain friends just don't even think about me or my situation!
I REFUSE to end this blog on a sour or angry note. I REFUSE people to make me feel this bad.
So... I will list the things that cancer has given me;
I CAN: take time out to train my dogs Pickles and Wilbur
I CAN: spend more time with my little animals
I CAN: focus on strengthening my posture
I CAN: have a go at power walking and train towards a running goal following treatment
I CAN: spend more time with positive friends who really do lift my spirits
I HAVE: strengthened existing friendships
I HAVE: made new friends through WW NCU, Face Book and my blog
I HAVE: taken part in the spirit jump programme and made 6 people happy so far


  1. Sara, I know everyone wants us to be 'positive' but that just isn't how it is.

    I think it's important to share our feelings of lose, disappointment, anger, frustration because that is the reality of cancer.

    ... but that doesn't mean we can't have good days and share them too.

  2. I'm sorry your friends are not as supportive as they could be. Some people just aren't able to be what you want them to be.

    Because you deserve the best and it's their loss


  3. I have to agree with Breeze - you deserve the best! Do not sell yourself short. And you know's okay to be angry! This disease sucks! But I think that one of the gifts it gives us is the ability to see the type of people we really want in our lives. One of the psychologists at my cancer institues always says, "Is that person a keeper or a non-keeper? If they are a non-keeper, get rid of them."
    Hope you feel better soon :)

  4. Sara
    I am at this point too. Being angry and one of my redeeming traits I rarely was ever angry...
    this too shall pass!

    I have found that since finding out I have cancer you learn rather quickly and sadly who is there in your corner.
    Sometimes weeding out toxic friends is just as necessary.
    You need to concentrate on what you need right now. Put yourself on the top of the list and if your friends don't or can't understand.. They mever will!


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