Life is Amazing!

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Christmas always awakens a whole range of emotions for me. I love Christmas, don't get me wrong, its got to be the best time of year, I love it but I do get swamped with alsorts of feelings and emotions and occasionally I feel overwhelmed.

I saw my eldest son Joseff perform his last ever Christmas play in primary school. I have known all of his classmates since they were babies and it was so strange seeing them up there on stage performing their hearts out. The picture above is of me and Joseff, I think he was only a few weeks old in the picture. When he was born, I considered myself the luckiest person in the whole world. I had been on fertility treatment for years and had almost given up hope of having children when he came along.

Joseff had his Christening in Gresford Parish Church on 27th December 1998 aged 10 weeks old. From left to right: Julie, Angela, Me & Joe, Jason, Amanda & Kieran and Karl.

Keiran is now a strapping young man!

I can't begin to describe how exhilerated and wonderful I felt when this photo was taken. Joseff had only just been born and I couldn't wait to get him back in my arms again. He was born in the early hours of the morning following just 2 hours of labour. We both went into shock but he was born safely just as the doctors arrived. I remember going onto the ward with him and just staring at him for hours.

Harry didn't like Father Christmas when he was 2 years old. He just wanted to grab his present and go! I love this photo so much! I wish I had known about his condition then, maybe I would have considered the impact of Father Christmas a little more and been a bit more sympathetic to his very real fear.

Harry loved Buzz Lightyear, he was his favourite toy for a long time until eventually he did actually fall apart. I remember clearly the day he preteneded to be Buzz in Dodleston Park. He was on a climbing frame, about 4ft in the air when I saw him press his imaginary button, make all the right sounds before his jump..... Luckily we got to him in time and disaster was avoided. Harry always gets into character when he is playing, he BECOMES the person he is playing which sounds cute but not when it involves flying, jumping and other dangerous activities.





This time of year I think about my loved ones. Dear Peter, forever 25. Last night I watched the Royal Variety Performance on TV and Bette Midler performed "Wind Beneath my Wings". I cried my heart out because I used to play that after Peter died, it says everything about how I felt about him because he was my heroe I used to idolise him.

Today is the 20th anniversary of my Nains death. She was a remarkable lady, with a beautiful face, equally beautiful smile and a twinkle in her eye.

Life is pretty amazing really. Yes, I have lost loved ones tragically, yes I have been through fertility treatment and miscarriage, I have children with speech & communication difficulties and one who is autistic and I have just battled breast cancer. However, each of these situations has made me the person I am today. I am proud and so glad to have been able to know my Nain, I am so lucky to have had such a devoted big brother in Peter. No matter what the ever lasting pain of their loss has inflicted on me, it was worth the honour and privelage of having them in my life. I am lucky to still have mum and dad in my life and a lovely little brother, Gareth not to mention my Auntie Heather and Uncle Phil.

So.... against all odds, I have it all. I wonderful husband and two glorious boys. I have fought cancer and will continue to do so because I intend to be around for many years to come. Life has so much to offer and I am currently just deciding what I am going to do with it. There was a time that I dreaded feeling this happy because something always happened to snatch my happiness away..... I don't think anything will happen this time, I have a feeling in my heart.

My plans for the future include practicing Reiki, running to raise money for cancer research and autism, opening a dog grooming salon and God willing..... becoming a Nain x