I can't believe that 2009 is nearly over!
2009 started off so well and yet two weeks into the new year I found my cancerous lump, quite by accident. I still feel as though this year has been a dream, the whole experience has been surreal. Perhaps thats my way of coping with the enormity of what has happened to me. I had cancer..... I have fought cancer..... it just doesn't seem to register in my mind.
So I think back to this time last year, life was so hectic then with my dog grooming business and all my customers wanting to be clipped and bathed in preparation for the festivities. The rush of shopping, the wrapping of presents and the being together. It was a lovely Christmas last year..... I had come to terms with my past, I had faced my demons and I was ready to enjoy life. I didn't know at the time that I hadn't faced the worst demon yet, that was to come on 16th January 2009, the day I found my lump.
I can't believe that I have been through every season this year, from winter, spring, summer, autumn and now back to winter! It all seems misty in my minds eye.
This Christmas I am not as fit as I was last year but I am ALIVE. Sitting upstairs, wrapping my sons gifts, I felt overwhelmed by the joy at being HERE to celebrate Christmas with them. I bought Joe some books and as I wrote in each one, dedicating them to him, I was more aware of how special those dedications will eventually become.
So THANK YOU GOD for me finding the cancer, THANK YOU for the surgeon who was able to remove it with a good clear margin, THANK YOU for it not having spread to my lymph nodes, THANK YOU for the new techniques and medicines I have and am benefiting from (sentinal node biopsy and herceptin), THANK YOU for getting me through chemotherapy, THANK YOU for the wonderful nurses and staff at the Shooting Star Unit but most of all, most of all, THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME LIVE ON.
Happy Christmas everyone!