Road Traffic Collision

Yesterday I had an RTC - a road traffic collision! They used to call it RTA - Road Traffic Accident but the word accident had "implications" re blame etc so they changed it to collison.

We were cycling home from Cola, Harry was in front of me because I have to keep a close eye on him. Cycling behind Harry is precarious enough as it is and last night... he got me. We were almost home and suddenly he swerved out in front of me and caught my front tyre. There was nothing I could do to stop myself so the bike fell and I skidded on the tarmac.

I lay there startled for a bit and Harry started getting upset, he wanted me to get up and off the road in case a car came and squashed me so he said, so he helped me get up. No damage to my bike, Harrys plastic mud guard was snapped off and all I can say is that it was a good job that I was wearing my riding jacket because I scraped and bruised my elbow and hip and blood was seeping through my jeans at the knee. Nothing major it just means that I will be more achey for a few days and of course I was badly shaken.

The fall really messed up my mojo but what messed with it even more was the fact that I discovered that I had lost my weight watchers pedometer. The boys and I searched and searched but it was gone. It sounds really daft, but the pedometer is what has got my weight loss going and since I had it I lost half a stone so I became really down and started to think about comfort food.......

However, my weight watchers leader is a friend on facebook and I contacted her and as a result I was able to call at her house to buy a new pedometer and she discounted it for me. It gave me my mojo back and I stopped thinking about comfort food.

In addition to this, Harry and his little friends hatched a plan to sell their unwanted DVD's to raise money to buy me a new pedometer.

So it was a nasty do but goodness and kindness came out of it in the form of those I care about helping me.

On another note, thank you for your support on my changing my blog. Hopefully I will get it up and running in a few days and I already have an idea for a final post on Cancer Ain't Gonna Beat Me.

Restless Feet

I haven't been blogging regularly for a while and I have been thinking about this issue. I am extremely busy these days now that my energy is back and I don't have much time to sit down as I am constantly on the go and loving every minute of it, after all, I have alot of making up to do.

However... I am begining to feel like moving on from Cancer Aint Gonna Beat Me because I feel as though cancer is in my past. I had it, I kicked its butt and now its almost time to move on. Blogging on Cancer Aint Gonna Beat Me has been a blast but while I continue with this blog I feel as though I am being caged by cancer.

Don't worry, I am not leaving the blogging sphere! I still take part in the Friday My Town Shoot Outs www.fridayshootout.blogspot.com and I am in the process of starting a new blog www.sarasfightback.blogspot.com but I am having a few technical problems, trying to put badges on etc, I have forgotten how to do it. Once these hitches are sorted I will be moving over to that blog but don't worry, I will "tip you the wink" before I do.

Phew! So what has been going down in my busy life? I have been enjoying my pony Cola more than anything. He is my therapist and my personal trainer! I have lost half a stone in the last couple of weeks just by cycling to see to him, mucking out and lots of riding or walking. It is down to him that I have my strength and mobility back in my shoulder. He is the best thing that could ever have happened to me.

I had my teeth sorted out a week or so ago so now I have the smile I always dreamed of, three years of brace work and pain was certainly worth it in the end even though I had to delay the restorative work for a year.

The herceptin is going well, I have had 10 treatments so far so only have 8 more to go! My fingers are still swollen and my nails are flaking and splitting but that is such a small detail!

I am back to my support group Talk 4 Talk for parents of children with speech, language and communication problems and I am back in control. I have already found out about a service that my son can get access to in order to help with his reading. He is 9 next month and he still has the reading age of a reception pupil. I have told the school about the service he needs access too but as usual they are dragging their heels. Therefore I am putting my request in writing and copying it to the Local Education Authority and seeing as how it is election time, I may copy my letter to some MP's - yes! I am back in the driving seat!

I am looking forward to the Race for Life next month although my training has been hampered. I am still running and I can manage a mile but I have the rest of my life to get back to where I used to be and as long as I enjoy running then I will keep doing it.

So life is good, getting better and better with each day!

Back Again!

Back again after another break but I can't tell you how busy I am these days! The children are into their second week back at school and I am able to do all the things I am not able to when they are around.

The good news is that at my Weight Watchers weigh in last week, I lost 4lbs! I had to get on and off the scales 4 times before I would accept the reading and then I jumped up and down for joy, the other members must have thought I was bonkers. I am keeping on track with my diet and exercising alot. Rather than use my car I am walking or cycling and its amazing what an impact that has had on my weight loss.

Cola is wonderful! We took his rugs off last week. We still put his stable rug on at night because it tends to be chilly but during the day he is comando! You can tell the spring grass is coming through because he is totally fixated and is chomping at the bit to go out to grass rather than have his bucket feed which he normally enjoys.

The boys and I spent the weekend at my friends house on the top of a mountain. We camped in their back garden but oooh it was cold at night. Luckily I had quite a few glasses of red wine so the cold didn't get to me too much!

I have left my camara at my friends though so my blog will be pictureless for a while until I get it back unless I can find any appropriate pictures in my archives.

More herceptin on Wednesday; dose 10 out of 18 so I am over half way there.

I am part of the Secret Post club and I received my parcel last week which was so touching! However, I want to share the pictures with you before I tell you more and the picture is on my camara so you will have to bear with me for the next few days.

In the Pink Again!

Pictures courtesy of Google Search


I have not blogged for a week mainly because I have been in a bad place. Those of you who read my previous blog will probably have guessed this. I have been coming to terms with the fact that once chemo was done with all the side effects would be done with too. Now, I have accepted this and have made steps to work with it.

I had a "taster" session with a nutritionalist who checked me for vitamin deficiencies and I came up as being short of folic acid, B6 and B10. Funnily enough, B6 is a vitimin required for turning food to energy. I have bought some supplements along with some Metatone tonic because it is that time again.

I arranged to have some healing Reiki and that was done today. Some of my chakras were not working and others were spinning out of control. My friend re-alined my chakras and the reiki was great.

I felt warmth traveling from my neck into my head and shoulders then down through my back and pelvis. The warmth then turned to tingling which was kind of like an energy pulsing around my body. When the Reiki was finished I felt so relaxed, positive and energised.

So as a result of these things, these minor adjustments I have made in my life, I am back to being in the pink again. I am feeling positive, in control and up beat.

My nails ARE going to grow back strong and I AM going to lose that weight!

India Day at School

Harry had an "India" day at his school today. The idea was that the children could dress up if they wanted and they made Indian decorations, played Indian music and sampled Indian food. Even the staff entered into the spirit of the occasion with their saris. We purchased Harry's outfit from the Hospice of the Good Shepherd, the young assistant was so helpful and so not only did we get a costume sorted but our money was spent on a good cause. Harry liked his turban the best which was one I used last year when I lost my hair. I used this one the most because I loved the colour red and it is well worn. I think its lovely to see it being used for something not related to ill health.


Harry did have a problem with his snack at snack time, the change in routine can be confusing and upsetting for children with autism. He was choked up and emotional when he came out of school but I spoke to his teacher and we got to the root of the problem and all is well.


I had some sad news today. My mums dog Al has been taken ill. He has liver problems and is on a drip at the vets, it is touch and go as to whether or not he pulls through. Al is an integral part of mums life, her faithful friend. As for me, he represents a wonderful part of my life with motherhood and baby/toddler trips to Erddig and Nains river. I only saw him on Monday and he was so happy, its hard to hear that my little friend is so gravely ill.


On a different note, I gained 2 1/2 lbs this week at weight watchers but I am not worried or stressed about it. Looking at the size of my fingers and the fact that I still can't get a wedding ring on I reckon that if I could stop the drugs I would lose half a stone in fluid alone! The main thing is that I am still going to weight watchers and if I hadn't been going I would be alot bigger than I am now.

New Year and a New Me!

....... well not quite!



I have started back on my Weight Watchers diet today and I am waiting for my ASDA Home Delivery to bring me all of my healthy food choices. I scrolled through the weight watchers recipe page and selected a whole range of recipes, made my shopping list and did it online! By doing things this way I am hoping to cut my grocery budget, cut down on food waste and try some new foods. I will probably post some of the recipes online and let you know whether or not they were a success.


Jason is at work and the children are off school until Tuesday so my window of opportunity for exercise is limited! I was given a Wii Fit for my birthday but I am a bit of a mentally driven exercisor, I need to be away from my home environment and I need to be totally focused on what I am doing. When in the gym I am not one of those people looking for a social, I am totally "in the zone" - its the only thing that works for me.


So having a few weeks of eating rubbish I am ready for this new start, I am looking forward to achieving my targets set for this year.

New Year - No Resolutions!!

This year I have decided that I am not going to have New Years Resolutions, instead, I am going to have targets or objectives.

They are quite simple ones really;

1. I want to run the 2010 Race for Life and raise money for Cancer Research. I ran it in 2008 for Mike Peters but couldn't do it in 2009 because my cancer treatment left me too drained. 2010 I am going to do it for me and my other cancer fighting friends, you know who you are!

2. I want to run my first 10k race. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year I had almost finished training for my first 10k race which was due to take place on 1st March in Farndon. The pain caused by my biopsy and surgery meant that it was impossible for me to do this. I won't be fit enough in time for the next Farndon 10K but I am going to look for another one during the year and raise some money for Cancer research or the MacMillan information centre in Wrexham Hospital.

3. I want to reach my goal weight. My hormones went crazy in 2008 which meant I went up 2 dress sizes and gained 2 stone. I had lost a stone in weight when I was diagnosed with cancer. I was unable to keep on with weight watchers during treatment. I was craving carbohydrates and cheese and who was I to deny my poor body such pleasures? Also, the tamoxifen and steroids have caused bloating most of which has gone but I still can't wear my wedding, engagement and eternity rings. However, I AM wearing my Nain's wedding ring (welsh for grandmother) and my Great Auntie Lizzies engagement ring.

4. I want to learn Reiki. It is something I have wanted to do for years, I want to use it in my work with dogs and animals. I am fed up with dogs coming to me nervous or traumatised by the grooming process and I have always sought ways to make the matter more comfortable for them. I have used DAP spray, booked in extra time for nervous clients at no extra cost, so Reiki for me will be such a good tool for easing the distress of these animals.

These are all achievable targets so as we get through 2010 and I complete each one, lets celebrate together!

Its raining but not in my soul

I am so happy to say that my hair is considerably longer than it is on this picture taken a couple of months ago! Even long enough to say I have had a "bad hair day".


The rain is pouring outside, puddles are huge, everything is soaked right through. So much for Guy Fawkes celebrations, theres no way I am going to a bonfire party when this amount of rain is falling!

However, in my heart the sun is blazing and the sky is blue because today, I lost one and a half pounds at my weight watchers weigh in. That coupled with the fact that I swam for the first time since my diagnosis yesterday and running is feeling good..... I feel as though I am taking control of my life once again and it is the most wonderful feeling in the entire world!

I had news of my big surprise the other day too and pretty soon I will have a delivery date for it! Watch this space!

I Have Made a Decision.....

Well, I am totally fed up with my body even though it has served me well through chemotherapy and surgery and now radiotherapy. I am 2 stone overweight (28lbs) and I am fed up with being breathless. My once well toned arms through dog grooming and swimming are now not and I am fed up!

I have decided to really get back on track SENSIBLY!!!

I am going to re-join Weight Watchers on a Friday morning once I am through radiotherapy at the start of October. At the same time I am going to start my running programme (Running Made Easy by Zest). Again, I will start that at the begining of October. In the meantime, I am going to start walking in preparation for running.

The first thing I am going to do which I have never done before and I must admit, I really dont like the idea at all....... I am going to have a set of start photographs and measurements and I am going to visually document my battle with fat to keep me going.

I have done this before and I will do it again. I need to drop 2 dress sizes to get down to my previous size 8 (US size 4).

I feel as though my life has been on hold with cancer, continually feeling rubbish and ill and tired.... I know it will take me a while to recover but I must make a start for my physical and mental well being.

Don't worry, I have been a fitness freak all of my life. Before marriage I cycled 30 miles a day because I didn't have a car, I did aerobics twice a week, I swam every day and I weight trained seriously, my spot partner was a bloke and I could beat him with sit ups and with weights. I know my stuff and although I have never been this unfit in my entire life, I will do something else I have never done before..... I will start at the begining.

Wish me luck!

Session 1: Can't Sleep

It is 5.30am and I have been awake for hours, I just can't sleep. So much is going through my mind at the moment and I feel as though my brain is in over drive.

My hair has thinned considerably over the last couple of days and its getting on my nerves now. I just want to take the clippers to it and get rid of it so that is one less thing to frett about. I don't like the way my head feels. My hair follicles itch, its as though as each one is dieing, I can feel it. When I scratch or rub my head to relieve the feeling, hair comes away and it's horrible. The positive in this is that I didn't realise just how dark my hair is, almost black and I like it - lets hope it doesn't come back a different colour!

I am also feeling fat and bloated. I have started to binge and comfort eat again and I have even had to block the desire to empty my stomach so that I didn't feel guilty. I need to get back in control of my life, I think that is what is bugging me!

I am fed up because we are having to cut our week at the caravan short because of the chemo. I have to return home on Wednesday for a blood test then session 2 of chemo on Thursday. I did try to delay it but the hospital didn't like that idea at all! I am dreading the session too. This time around I know exactly what to expect but I also remember the feeling and I am worried about that.

So, lets think constructively here. What can I do to regain control of my life and get my positive karma back, lets come up with a plan!

1. Get back on the wagon and re-start my weight watchers programme
2. Start a daily programme of walking each day 1/2 an hour following chemo then on weeks 2 &
3, lets aim for an hour.
3. When I get home from the caravan, get the clippers out and get rid of the hair
4. Adopt a new mantra and use it "I will be thin again once the cancer is gone, I will beat this it
won't beat me"

So, on this positive note, I will finish my blog for now.

Session 1, week 2 Feeling OK

Me and one of my dogs, Wilbur wearing my pink bandana. I did this photo because I needed to upload one onto the Facebook group I started called "The Bandana Brigade". The photos on the group are fab, especially the ones of the dogs! It is great having the support of online friends, some of whom I have never met in person but who are great friends none the less. I log onto the Weight Watchers NCU site regularly and am kept entertained by all the regulars: SpookyAnne, BryBry, JediBinx, MissLaura to name but a few.

This week has seen me "overdoing" it big style. Me... the fitness freak who walks the kids back and to school, swims, runs, clips dogs and walks my own dogs all in a normal day, reduced to being worn out by a run and a dog walk in a day! Demoralising, but I keep telling myself that it is only for a short space of time and I will be back to normal soon.

I had to cancel my plans to meet with one of my friends and customers yesterday because I was so tired, and I was disappointed because I was looking forward to the get together. After a mornings rest I came down refreshed and decided to clip the dogs outside as the weather was so nice. Both dogs plus friends dog are looking very posh now and ready for the summer! However, it whacked me out AGAIN and I spent the rest of the day in bed.

I was supposed to go to the PTA Pamper Evening but decided to visit briefly then return home. It would have been a lovely evening at the Grosvenor Hotel with some nice stalls and luxury treatments on offer. However, just chatting to people tires me out these days so I picked up some business cards and made a mental note to hold a bra party sometime soon. There was also a local chocalateer who impressed me, links to both are listed below.

www.reallynicechocolate.co.uk

www.fitubra.co.uk

My digestive system is almost back to normal so that is something positive this week. I went looking for an outfit to wear to my friends daughters naming ceremony at the weekend and decided that I looked fat and awful in every dress I fancied. However, I treated myself to a gorgeous sky blue mac from Bravissimo, which I will wear with linen black trousers and a loose fitting white shoes.

My son Harry made me laugh yesterday. My husband took the boys around Broughton Park shopping centre and H spotted a maniquin in a shop window which was dressed but had no hair. He said that the maniquin was how I would look when and if I lose my hair.

So back to hair loss...... I picked up my NHS wig on Wednesday and what a laught that has proved to be. So far everyone has worn it including the dog and it is AWFUL! I will not be wearing the wig unless I desperately need to but it may start to appear on memorable statues around the vicinity.... watch this space!

So, my first session of Chemo and week 2. Not as bad as week one but still so tired. I will get through this though and come out of it a better person.