I woke up this morning like a bear with a sore head. I could feel the tension in every part of my body and I was being completely encompasse in depression.
Parking was a nightmare at Wrexham Hosptial. Again, I said to my husband "they should have designated parking for chemo patients...." He dropped me off while he located a space. He ended up squeezing our little Noddy Mobile into a space which was tiny because somebody had decided to take two spaces for his car!!!!!!!!
As I walked into the hospital I felt so irritated by everything..... the parking, hospital, the rotating bloody doors... everything! As I walked I muttered "I hate this place, I hate smiling, I will not smile, I will not be positive cos I dont want to be". By the time I got to the Shooting Star Unit, my temper was quiet and I was on the road to positivity again.....
Hubbie joined me and made me a lovely cup of tea and then the ordeal began.......
Luckily I was surrounded by positive souls who wanted to chat and smile, the last few times have been awful. The nurse who put my canula in was new to the ward. All the nurses target the vein on the side of my wrist, it is still marked by the last two canulas and I was glad really because the veins on the top of my hand are still sore and bruised from two months ago.
Poor nurse, that vein was "wobbly". "Is that normal?" I asked suddenly starting to envisage my arm turning into a state of jelly. "oh yes, its fine" then the pain....... oh I clutched that comfie chair so hard I swear I left nail holes (well I would have done if my nails hadnt split and had to be cut off). She was so sweet, the vein had wobbled and she couldnt get the line in so lovely Natasha, so gentle, was called and yep, she inserted the canula with a minimal amount of pain and ...... oh ...... thank you Natasha!!!!!!
The rest of the treatment went on just like the previous week...... prickly bottom (like sitting on a hedgehog), heady lightheaded feeling, cold arm, then the pepper up my nose and on my brain!!!!!!!!
However, when I left the hospital I felt chilled, relaxed and back to positive old me again. All done for two weeks, yippeeeeeeee!
I must tell you this story...... The other day, I went out and got all hot and bothered under this scarf of mine so I took it off and the reaction........well........ being the actress that I am, I went along with my new role. I shuffled, looked sad and tired, stumbled a bit and sighed. The response???? It was soooooo funny (am I sick?) I got caring stares and smiles, people were more polite and sympathetic. Me? Oh what jolly good fun I had!!!!!!!!!!
Parking was a nightmare at Wrexham Hosptial. Again, I said to my husband "they should have designated parking for chemo patients...." He dropped me off while he located a space. He ended up squeezing our little Noddy Mobile into a space which was tiny because somebody had decided to take two spaces for his car!!!!!!!!
As I walked into the hospital I felt so irritated by everything..... the parking, hospital, the rotating bloody doors... everything! As I walked I muttered "I hate this place, I hate smiling, I will not smile, I will not be positive cos I dont want to be". By the time I got to the Shooting Star Unit, my temper was quiet and I was on the road to positivity again.....
Hubbie joined me and made me a lovely cup of tea and then the ordeal began.......
Luckily I was surrounded by positive souls who wanted to chat and smile, the last few times have been awful. The nurse who put my canula in was new to the ward. All the nurses target the vein on the side of my wrist, it is still marked by the last two canulas and I was glad really because the veins on the top of my hand are still sore and bruised from two months ago.
Poor nurse, that vein was "wobbly". "Is that normal?" I asked suddenly starting to envisage my arm turning into a state of jelly. "oh yes, its fine" then the pain....... oh I clutched that comfie chair so hard I swear I left nail holes (well I would have done if my nails hadnt split and had to be cut off). She was so sweet, the vein had wobbled and she couldnt get the line in so lovely Natasha, so gentle, was called and yep, she inserted the canula with a minimal amount of pain and ...... oh ...... thank you Natasha!!!!!!
The rest of the treatment went on just like the previous week...... prickly bottom (like sitting on a hedgehog), heady lightheaded feeling, cold arm, then the pepper up my nose and on my brain!!!!!!!!
However, when I left the hospital I felt chilled, relaxed and back to positive old me again. All done for two weeks, yippeeeeeeee!
I must tell you this story...... The other day, I went out and got all hot and bothered under this scarf of mine so I took it off and the reaction........well........ being the actress that I am, I went along with my new role. I shuffled, looked sad and tired, stumbled a bit and sighed. The response???? It was soooooo funny (am I sick?) I got caring stares and smiles, people were more polite and sympathetic. Me? Oh what jolly good fun I had!!!!!!!!!!
Sara you really are such a headcase, only you could finish such a blog with 'Oh what jolly good fun I had!!!!!!' You are truly and inspiration!!!! Sharon xxxx
ReplyDeleteHi Sara - I bet you can't be grumpy if you tried! The nurse was hurting you, and you say 'poor nurse', 'she was so sweet'. And then the funny story at the end - glad you are having fun (I'm not brave enough to take off my scarf no matter how hot and bothered I am!!)
ReplyDeleteSara ... you are so brave ... I still wear a wig ... it's awful.
ReplyDeleteHopefully one day I can do what you've done.
Sara I totally hear you. I couldn't hear you any better if you were shouting in my ear.
ReplyDeleteIt is a hard road. A very hard road.
Why are they using your veins and not accessing a PICC or port?
Please only ask that Natasha put in the needle next time if she has a gift for it.
I see your face up in your profile and you are beautiful.
I am so sorry to hear that you have this motherfucker. Very sorry.
Love Renee xoxox
Finally a BC blog with normal none whiney BC survivors! Breast Cancer sucks but so does every illness. So many of the forums and groups are so negative! Boo-hoo we have breast cancer. My answer is well someone has to get it, so why not me!
ReplyDeleteStage 3 grade 3 very very fast growing 7 + CM in 10 months. Ended up with a Bi-M long chemo and all the fun stuff.
You can whine or you can buck up and deal with it! I choose the latter. Negativity gets you no where and sure doesn't help the healing process.
We are all pretty fortunate to live in the USA and have the medical treatment available to us.
We all need to hang in there have a small pity party then move on and take care of our self. Be your own best advocate. Information is power.
Don't let BC define you. We are all strong capable women and we are survivors!
Hey Kathy, I like your attitude! I do get frustrated by people who think I ought to be sitting around with a hanky pressed to my temples thinking about how awful my life is. Actually, it's pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteSara, you're doing sooooo well. Keep smiling. I'm sending you a big hug and some fabulous new veins!
Thanks for all your comments, they have made me giggle! Kathy; I love your attitude. So MANY people look at me with surprise and say "you look well, you are glowing (yep see one of my earlier blogs)" what do they think I should look like???? I do tend to put on a show when I go out but why not. If you wallow in self pity (that, I hasten to add, is not done for a show) then whats the point!
ReplyDelete