Review of the last decade....

Somebody mentioned a review of the decade on facebook and I decided to blog about things which have meant something to me, personnally. You will probably find alot of it boring, but it is theraputic for me! They come in no particular order.

I had the car of my dreams, my MINI COOPER - our first ever brand new car

I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer

I fought and beat Stage 3 Breast Cancer

I beat depression in 2008 following therapy with a brilliant guy Dave Atkinson and for the first time in my life, accepted myself

I beat my disordered eating pattern

I lost all my hair!

I gave birth to my second son Harry Llewelyn in May 2001

9/11 and the aftermath

My son was diagnosed autistic and I fought for years to get help for him and I eventually did!

I re-trained as a dog groomer

I set up and ran a successful part time business as a dog groomer for 4 years until cancer struck

I have had my hair long, short and bald!

I learnt how to blog and opened up a whole new world of friendship

Tony Blair got kicked out of government - sadly, not before he did the country alot of damage

The unnecessary war in Afghanistan and loss of so many livesI met HM the Queen and Prince Philip when they visited Wrexham. What a charming couple!

I did the Race for Life in 2008 - my first ever race

I got back together with my dad

I started running seriously

I made a Digital Story about Harry to help teach those in authorities how hard it is for children like him

I got my eldest son through his "issues" and at the age of 9 he actually ate Pizza (mixed up food)

The list is endless but to sum it up... it has been a difficult decade for me in lots of ways. I have battled and conquered disordered eating and depression. I have had two children with special needs and I have dealt with them successfully. If they hadn't had me as a mum, they would be prisoners of their own disorder. I have battled cancer and come out the other side. I lived for 3 years with virtually no sleep because Harry was such a troubled sleeper. Despite it all..... I am HERE and I am ready, just ready to make the next decade count.

Christmas Day 2009

This Christmas Day I want to wish everyone Christmas Blessings. It doesn't matter what your religeon is, it doesn't matter if you don't believe, all that matters is that we are here and we are sharing love and joy. My thoughts and prayers are with those who are less fortunate than me, those who are mourning the loss of loved ones, those who are ill, or trapped in conflict.

We have just had our Christmas dinner and I am so stuffed full of food! I am sitting here wearing my paper crown and watching the traditional Christmas edition of Top of the Pops, waiting for the Queens speech at 3pm. I have Wilbur curled up next to me, he stole a party popper and it exploded in his mouth. He was very scared and dejected and immediately came to me for reassurance, he is such a silly dog. I love Wilbur because there is not a nasty bone in his body, even if he has just met you he will look at you with such complete adoration, I think thats why when things go wrong or upset him he gets very hurt!

Pickles loves her new toys especially the dog beer! The dogs have had their Christmas dinner too and loved every morsal! Oh no! Pickles has started........ she is grumbling....... mumbling......... woofing....... she wants my coffee!

Just look at all the the gifts Santa brought my boys. The best part about it was that neither boys asked for much because I have taught them about the cost of things and both were over the moon with everything they had. Even though there were gifts I was unable to get for them, not a complaint was made, I am so proud of them.

Joe enjoys playing chess and all he wanted this Christmas was a proper chess set. The one we got him is hand carved and is beautiful, something I hope he will keep and treasure for years to come.

My boys got me this Steiff pony! She is a welcome addition to my collection of bears. I love Steiff creatures so much because of the attention to detail. I didn't know of this pony but its lovely and I will treasure it forever.

I have been so lucky this Christmas but the best of all is just being alive and well this Christmas, being with my family, enjoying them, relishing in their youth. They still believe in Father Christmas and its such a special time. This is probably the last year that Joe believes because he is off to high school in September.... bitter sweet.

So on this special and Holy day, I wish you all health and happiness this Christmas and for the coming new year.

Jules Update and Running with Wilbur

I received an email from Jules Peters today thanking me for the care package I sent out. She has been a very poorly young lady with not only DVT, tropical disease but also had a pulmonary embulism. She is lucky to be alive. She is recovering at home now with her young children and is doing well. These conditions were caused during her climb up Kilimanjaro to raise money for cancer. We are all set for the Gathering at the end of January 2010 in Prestatyn where I can hopefully meet her in person.

Today I went running with my dog Wilbur. I have had to have a few days off exercise as I injured my shoulder on Thursday having tripped up over Mr Wilbur. I landed on my shoulder and it is still incredibly painful, very hard for me to get dressed or put a coat on. However, I had a good run and enjoyed it even more for having his company. He had to wear is flourescent tabard because he is the colour of tarmac and whilst motorists on the lane may see me, they may miss the little guy.

A very productive day.... I am feeling stronger and fitter with each new day and I am so happy to be able to do the things I love once again.

My Birthday Yesterday!

I have been so lucky this birthday with all of the wonderful gifts and cards I have received! Last year I was in Rome for my birthday but this year I was at home which is truly where my heart is! The only sad part of it was that my youngest son was away from home on a school trip. My mother-in-law bought me this gorgeous PANDORA bead. I hadn't seen this one before but it is so pretty.

This horse PANDORA bead was one of my gifts off youngest son Harry. He also bought me a glass paperweight shaped like a diamond which he chose himself. He gave me his gift just before he left for Nant BH. Harry loves sparkly things.

This card is just gorgeous! My friends daughter, Chloe made it for me! I have a special "keep sake" box and this card is definately going in it!

These are a gift in themselves! 12 years ago I was almost at the point of giving up on the possibility of having children and now I have two gorgeous sons! Having two birthday cards sporting the word "MUM" means more than words can explain!

My Auntie Heather and Uncle Phil gave me this card. They know how significant the blue butterfly has been for me during my fight with breast cancer. The blue butterfly is means "healing, sent with love".

My husband always gets me the nicest cards with a really slushy message inside!

Just look at all of my gifts!!!!! I have been so lucky! I happened to spot the Carvella boots in Chester a week or so ago and I was lusting after them secretly and just look........ Jason got them for me! The NOA perfume is from my eldest son Joe, we sipped the sparkling wine, the Clinique body stuff is devine!

I love my new boots!

Not sure if everyone is familiar with GOK but in this country, he is a fashion and style guru. He has brought out his own range of body pampering products and just look at the size of the box I have been given!

My dad bought me this dirt devil for my car! What a thoughtful gift this is! I was struggling with my big hoover but this will make the job so much easier.

I had lots and lots of lovely things including a schnauzer glass keyring, a wolf t-shirt, a wii fit, a red scarf and a puzzle photo of my cousins children in Australia! I have decided to put the puzzle together then have it glued and framed!

I am so grateful for all of my birthday cards, gifts and good wishes.

An Eclectic 24 Hours!

What a varied 24 hours!!!!!

Last night, I was in the Golden Lion Pub, Rossett celebrating the Breast Cancer Support Groups Christmas Party. Pictured above are the founders of the group, Pauline and Barbara who started it around 18 months ago. Its a fabulous group of ladies of all ages, really down to earth, nice people who are fun to be with. Our meals were very nice but the only gripe really was the fact that the "Christmas Mess" had too much cream and not enough meringue!!!!

This morning saw the departure of my youngest son, Harry on his school trip to Nant BH in the Snowdonia ranges. He is eight years old and autistic so you can imagine how anxious letting him go there has been for me. However, his favourite teacher is going, Mr Lloyd along with his classroom support assistant, Mrs Pattingdon. Mrs P has given up her own time in order to accompany Harry, and if she hadn't have gone, I doubt whether I would have let Harry go either. He was off with a wave and blew a kiss. Once in school, he is in school so I knew that from then on he would be happy.

I went out for my run which was excellant, I am getting fitter and stronger by the day and after that we drove to Cheshire to collect a parcel for a friend then on to Beeston Horse Market....

When I first walked into the thick of the auction, I was overwhelmed. Choked with tears, I just had to get out of the building. I couldn't be a part of that scene, those poor horses and ponies; scared, worried being pushed around, prodded..... It felt like a scene from Anna Sewells Black Beauty.

My husband talked me into going back in, asking me to make some ponies day a little brighter by stopping to fuss them. I did that but I can tell you, it broke my heart. I lost count of the thin and undernourished animals there, probably over run with worms and other things! Some destined for slaughter, others possibly to be transported in inhumane conditions across Europe in order to be served up on plates in resteraunts.

I will not go back there again.

I was quiet going home. Feeling quite emotional because of Harry and what I had just witnessed.

We decided to stop at the Grosvenor Garden Centre for a good cup of coffee. They serve up a lovely Americano!

On display are the "home baked" mince pies and to the right are the flapjacks. All of the food is hand made on the premises and its open cooking so you can actually watch the chef prepare it all. It is delicious!

I was happy with my lovely coffee but Jason decided to have the caramel shortcake (his favourite).

We purchased some "Grumpy Mule" filtered coffee from the shop which was quite apt given our day!

This afternoon I clipped and bathed Wilbur and took all of his "feathers" off his legs. I do like him looking like a proper schnauzer; being a dog groomer, I like them to be clipped to breed standard but Wilbur..... He is a full on "action pup". He is the original "Million Hours a Day" dog. He lives life in the fast lane..... All things considered, he runs or sleeps and I am fed up with him bringing half of the woodlands home in his fur. He is nice and neat now and must feel so much better. At least he won't have to suffer me pulling bits out of his hair all night.

All in all, its been quite a different 24 hours!

Can't Stop Being Cold

Yesterday we had the first frost of winter. I went to put a cabbage leaf into my recycling bin and it was frozen shut! Mind you, I am still feeling the cold quite severely. It is 6 degrees outside, growing temperature for grass but I am sitting here wearing a cami top, thick polo sweatshirt, a fleece and a woolly hat and I am only just starting to warm up. Could I still be suffereing from chemo chills? I know that the optician said that he could tell that my veins were affected by chemo because they were not working efficiently so could it really take 2 months to still get better?

Ah well...................................

I had more news of my big surprise this morning! Fingers crossed everyone, it will be arriving on Wednesday 18th November........ excited is NOT the word for it!


Had a great walk with the dogs today, I really love to see them pounding through the leaves even though Wilbur and Pickles come home resembling a forest with all mannor of leaves sticking to their hair! I am training Wilbur to come to the whistle because its the only way I can get his attention when he is on the trail of squirrels. It was especially nice today because there were no golfers around so we really did "fill our boots".


Stupid car the Renault Scenic is in the garage for yet more repairs, this time a broken shock exorber - must be all those speed bumps Wrexham council decide to put everywhere! A couple of weeks ago it was the alternator cable. I have never owned a Renault before and believe me, I will never own a Renault, ever, again! We ran an Escort, a Mondeo, a Micra, Fiesta and a Sunny all without half the expense this has cost us.


Moaning over! My new scan disk came this morning so at least I am able to take photographs again. Sad news is that we are still having problems recovering the photos taken on our recent holiday.


Update on Jules Peters. She was hoping to be released from hospital today but sadly she is having to stay in isolation for another week. Desperately hard for her and her family as she is missing her sons aged 5 and 3. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers as she has done so much to raise money and awareness of cancer.

Today..... I Ran!!!!!

Today, I bit the proverbial bullet and started my running programme and it made me feel amazing.

I am following the ZEST Running Made Easy Plan and have started where I have never had to before, at the complete beginners place! Last year I was following the same plan but for a 10K race and was almost through it when I was diagnosed with cancer.

These recent weeks, one thing I have noticed is that although I feel so much better than before, my body is weaker than it has ever been in my entire life and I get tired quickly. Bearing that in mind, I have decided not to do my usual "jumping in with 2 feet" but to pace myself and take it slowly. So today it was 60 seconds run and 3 minutes walk x 3.

I read a running book once which advised a slow run/walk training programme because apparently your CV system gets fitter alot quicker than your body which is why alot of people succumb to shin splints and tendon injuries. Now, I know that I do have a dodgy hip flexor and delicate knees so I am bearing this fact in mind.

As I ran today, I remembered that it was this time last year that I was attacked by a German Shepherd whilst out on a run. I had planned to do a 5K run to a small village called Doddleston and back. I was happily running along when with no warning at all, the dog ran out onto the road and attacked me. He punctured my thigh and my instinct was to run so the dog continued on her attack. In a blink of an eye I took control of the situation and my two thoughts were, one: I must stay on my feet and two: I mustn't let the dog have anything to grab onto. I then turned my back on the dog, pulled my arms over my face and head and tightened my body. The dog was obviously making a go for my arm but instead, bit into my side just milimetres away from my breast. She bit through a base layer, a running top and a very heavily constructed running bra.

The farmer called the dog off and I reported the incident to the police. The dog has been put on the bite register and if there are any further incidents then she will be destroyed. I declined the offer of a lift home and instead walked the 2 miles back. I grabbed a quick shower to make sure that the wounds were clean then off to the doctors for a tetanus and antibiotics!

My mum is adamant to this day that the shock of the incident is what triggered my breast cancer. All I know is that for 6 weeks after the attack I succumbed to every illness going including cellulitus to my arm.....

I think back to this time last year and although only 12 months have passed, it seems like 12 years, like another lifetime.

Come for a walk with me and my dogs......

Please feel free to click on any of the photographs to enlarge, I have imported them as small pictures because there were so many. I apologise for the blurring and colour issues but it was quite difficult to take photographs with 3 naughty dogs in tow! So this is the start of our walk, coming out of Lavister Walks.

We enter onto Darland Lane. When we first moved to Lavister Walks almost 15 years ago, there were no houses on the left but now it is quite built up.

These are my walking companions. Left to right: Wilbur, Pickles and Poppy.

We pass lots of blackberry bushes on our walk, some blackberries have past their best but others are still waiting to ripen. I must pick some to make some blackberry brandy for Christmas, its really lovely and makes nice gifts for friends.

These are the out buildings of Gamford Farm, it used to be a pig farm but has stopped working for a long while now. There were animal abuse issues and the place was closed down thankfully. I used to be able to hear the pigs squealing from my house and it wasn't pleasant.

The old sign for the farm which is as decrepit as the building itself is becoming over the years.

We walk quite a way down the lane before we come to the first set of cottages which is called the area of Trevalyn. Very pretty cottages but I wouldn't like to live in one because alot of commuters use the lane as a short cut and I think they think it is a race track!

We leave Gamford Lane and re-enter Darland Lane. There are fields full of horses and ponies, this one whinnied at us and alarmed the dogs. At this point, Pickles is allowed off her lead because it is a very narrow and quiet lane and she is a good dog..... Wilbur and Poppy are not to be trusted!

Trevalyn Farm, a really old farm house which has recently been restored. They converted the barns and outbuildings into flats and houses presumably to raise money for the refurbishment. The development is sweet but I think it has robbed the old farm house of some of its character.

I could not pass this hedgrow without taking a picture because the berries were in abundance and so pretty.

Here are my PINK sheep! I think the farmer must have either been drunk when he marked these sheep or it was raining and the colour has run!

I found this freshly dug hole in the hedgrow. It kind of turns off to the right. Not sure what sort of animal it belongs to but probably a rabbit.

One of my favourite trees along Darland Lane. Ancient oaks. One could stare at this tree the entire day and still wonder at its beauty and find different patterns, textures and life.

Sloe Berries, great for making Sloe Gin. I usually pick lots of these, freeze them then use them for my gin, again, another nice Christmas gift for friends. These should be picked after the first frost but as the weather has changed here in recent years, I prefer to pick them and freeze them myself.

We are approaching Darland Woods now, Pickles is checking that we are going the right way. The woods are on the right.

Just what the dogs have waited for. This is the entrance to the woods where all of the dogs are allowed off their leads. I am climbing over the style at this point while they have bounced off to sniff some smells.

Poppy has been squirrel and duck hunting and is about to re-join her "pack".

Wilbur sporting his leather head collar because he pulls so badly, a headcollar is a great way to control him without pressing on his neck. He tends to cough easily so I am concerned about any restriction put around his neck.

As we passed the lake, the sun hit the leaves of this tree and it looked so pretty, I had to take a picture of it.

We leave Darland Woods at this point and enter the Golf Course. It is a "pay as you go" golf course and has been in existance for almost 10 years. I remember it when it was agricultural land and one would hardly meet anyone on this walk, now you bump into golfers and other dog walkers so it has lost some of its charm for me. At least the golf course are planting trees and enhancing the environment but they have culled all of the rabbits and I have found some disturbing mole traps.

The entrance of the golf course and the exit for us! This is where the dogs go back onto their leads for safety because the main road ahead has a tendancy to be extremely busy.

Here we are on the main Chester Road, about 5 minutes walk from home and the end of our walk. The dogs are tired and so am I! So, I treat myself to an iced latte (skinny of course) with a dash of vanilla essence..... blissful x

Walking

Pickles

I had a wonderful walk today with the three dogs; Pickles, Wilbur and Poppy. It was a beautiful autumn day, the sky was blue, the sun was shining, it was just perfect.

While we were out on our walk, I marveled at all the wonderful things around me. The old, old Oak trees, holes in the ditches which must be somebodies home, blackberries on the bushes, elderberries and sloes.... it was lovely.

I have decided, that if I am blessed with another such day then I am taking my camera with me and I am going to take you all on my walk, so that I can share some of the lovely things I have seen.

I bumped into my friend Rachel with her daughter and their dog Molly so we had a lovely chat. I also saw Dave Golf, the greensman at the golf course and had a chat with him. It is so nice to be getting back to normal again.

Mind you, I over did things yesterday and now my breast and arm are aching and throbbing. I have taken it easy today, lets hope things are better tomorrow.

Oooh, almost forgot to mention.... I saw some pink sheep today as well! Hopefully I will be able to get a picture of them tomorrow!

A Good Dog

That is one thing that cancer has definately given me and that is TIME to do something I so enjoy and have not previously had the time to do it and that is READ! Reading is a form of escapism for me. It takes my mind away from cancer treatments, needles, appointments, illness... it takes me to another world and another life.


I have just finished reading the book "A Good Dog" by Jon Katz and am bereft. It is a true story and I found it such a compelling read. I liked the way that the author was truthful and honest about his dog Orson. There is no Hollywood ending here..... just the cold hard facts of life and moral duty.


Jon Katz has had quite a slating over this book and what happened with Orson and this makes me really angry. What right does any human being have over another to judge them. They did not know Orson the dog, they did not live with him, they were not in Jon Katz shoes so how dare they have the audacity and arrogance to judge him.


I live by the code of "judge not lest ye be judged". Nobody knows what they would do if they were put in the shoes of another person so it is not our place to be the judge and jury that is for the hands of a far greater being than us, thank you very much.


Now, let me climb down off my soap box, and lets hope I dont trip up while I get off...... no of course I wont trip, I haven't had a glass of wine...... oops...... sorry...... private joke.


Seriously, this is a great book, not one to be read without hankies but one which has evoked powerful emotions in me......

Friends

My mum and Joe

Friends come in all shapes and sizes. They come from all walks of life and bring with them a wealth of information about their lives and experiences. They can be any age, any colour, any breed. Friends have no limitations.

Chloe

When I was a girl, I had pen-friends from all over the world. Some came and some went but I am still in contact with two of them, one from America and the other Canada. We have never physically met but we are still friends and we care about each other. We give each other support when needed and just because we have not met, it doesn't lesson the friendship or bond that we have.

Margaret, my mother in law

Some of my friends are tiny, some are large, some are wrinkled and some are covered in fur. Some I have met, some I have not but my friends are my friends and I value them so very much. My friends have played an integral part in my fight with Breast Cancer and some dont even realise it!

Mums dog Al

My blogging friends, well, I have not met you but you are my friends, no less or no more than those I see every day.

My Joe

So my friends, I thank God for cyber space and computer networking and I thank God for having you as my friends.