2009 was such an eventful year for me, although not in the way I would have liked so 6? 7? days into 2010 its all quite calm....
The children were kept off school yesterday because of the snow and they had a brilliant time outside playing! My neighbour, Fran and I made a snowman with the kids and that was good fun although when the light went later that day the older kids came along and took great delight in destroying it, that was sad!
The older kids are a source of frustration for all residents of our small cul-de-sac. They play football and the balls hit our cars and our houses... in the end, Jason had to go out with his warrant card and tell them officially that it was against the law to play ball games on a public highway, they just wouldn't listen to me! The parents never supervise the children, never have done, they seem to think its alright that they cause hundreds of pounds worth of damage to other peoples property. When my boys are outside playing, I plant myself in the window so that I can keep an eye on what is going on.
The same boys taunt the younger children, in fact, they run off with their bikes and earlier on in the year it was because of such an act that Harry (who takes great care of his bike) had his bike driven over! It's funny how quickly the older children disappeared, leaving Harry hiding in the shed having destroyed my pot plants in frustration, crying and shivering with distress.
Yesterday, the same boys taunted Harry again and the result was that he threw one of his new gloves into a tree and the other down the drain. I was then left to deal with the mess at home. By mess, I mean Harry's mood.
I had enough by 5.30pm, I had reached my melt down point because Harry is always challenging but he is growing up and so is challenging in a new way. I have to re-group and decide how I am going to deal with this, its not easy! Luckily my husband took care of the children and I took myself off to bed with my book just to chill.... I didn't read much, too emotionally exhausted but at least I did shake off my bad mood.
It is so hard dealing with children who have Speech, Language and Communication Disorders. Such small words really but they have a much deeper meaning, significance. It impacts on every aspect of life and learning... Going to the shop is never easy, going to the pantomine, anywhere outside the home...... I am sick and tired of parents at school putting a label on Harry as a "bad boy" because they haven't got a clue on what he has to deal with, or me for that matter!
I am so sorry, I didn't want this to turn into a whinging post but I have hit a rock in my life with this one. Its good in a way though because it shows that I am getting back to my old self after cancer but frustrating never the less.
I also feel that it is my duty to highlight the issues of this dishorder and that of autism. So many people look at my beautiful boy and just do not realise what he has to live with.
Promise me that if you see a child swearing, lashing out, lieing on the supermarket floor, fiddling with buttons or belts..... you won't condemn that child or his parents. You will smile at the parent, you will smile at the child and you will say a prayer for them.
Thursday, 7 January 2010
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Shame on those older kids! Do you know their parents?
ReplyDeleteOne of my closest friends has a son with autism. He has a much more severe form than your Harry in that he can't speak. While shopping, the mom used to have him in the cart and numerous people felt it was their duty to tell her he was too old to be pushed in a cart. But it calmed him down and stopped him from destroying the store. It is a heart breaking condition. You are doing a great job with him by being his avocate.
Sara you did enjoy the first part of your day with your boys building a snow man....embrace that part.....as for the older children, it is just plain sad. I really believe their parents should better supervise them and knowing Harry is doing the best he can has to bring some comfort. I know my cousin's son seem to take a lead from his mom....he seems to always know if she is happy, sad, tense or anxious. I know your burdens are heavy Sara and I don't think I could do all that you do but you have to know you are a wonderful mother doing the best you can as well. I find it so very easy to be kind to those who have a disabiliity but some people become frightened as they just don't know how to react, it is ignorance on their part so don't let them bring you down.... I do hope you will have a full day of joy tomorrow.
ReplyDelete........:-) Hugs
Oh Sara so true ... I've learned to be kinder and more forgiving because of my cancer. I didn't realize what the ill were really going through until I was ill.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you ...