My Special Rock Garden

I collect stones from the beach when I visit. I don't choose a stone for its shape, I just let the stone draw me to it. I decided to decorate my front door step with the stones and painted them with uplifting words and sentences.

I then decided that I would paint the names of my friends who are fighting or have fought cancer. The idea is that as I cross over the threshold of my house each day (a few times a day) I see my friends names and my thoughts and prayers go out to them.

If you cannot see your name on a stone and you would like me to put your name on one then please let me know by leaving a comment. Barry Fraser, there is a stone with your name on it, it is small and white and I don't think it was captured in the shot.

I find painting the stones very theraputic. I don't know what colours I will use or what I will paint until I feel the stone in my hand.

Several friends have commented on my stones and how pretty they make the door step look and I have explained to them the reason for my particular rock garden.

If I come home feeling sad or angry, I just glance down at my stones as I turn the key in my door and I am reminded that I am surrounded by love, family, friends, hope, faith and strength.

PS: you see the Race for Life badge on my blog? I am doing the 2010 Race for Life in May for Cancer Research. I would appreciate sponsorship and this can be done online by following the link. Please help me to realise my vision of the future where all cancers are treatable.

Glad to Have My Blog Back

Before I get started on this blog, I just want all of my blogging friends to look at the picture above of Mike Peters and his wife Jules. They helped found the Love Hope Strength Foundation which aims to put cancer centres in every country and make cancer a curable disease. Mike himself has battled the beast twice in the last 15 years and his type of cancer is incurable but can be managed.

They have done so much, you must visit the LHS website to see what amazing things they have achieved. They have donated thousands to the cancer centre where I received part of my treatment. They have climbed Everest, Snowdon and now more recently Kilimanjaro.

As a result of this quest, Jules is now seriously ill in hospital suffering with not only DVT but a tropical disease. She is in isolation so will not even be able to see her two very young sons. I want you all to say a prayer for this amazing person. Hold her in your thoughts and pray for a fast recovery.

So.... I am back home from the caravan and now I can access my blog and everyone elses. It has been quite frustrating not being able to visit blogs or even pick up the comments left on my blog! I will be busy catching up with you all over the next week.

I am back in the pink! I only let myself have one blue day every once in a while, I think it helps to cleanse the mind and body but thank you for all of your messages of support which helped turn me from blue to pink.

The only other frustration I have at the moment is that my scan disk is not allowing me to upload my pictures so my wonderful husband has allowed me to use his from the holiday and will be working to fix my disk so that I can share the fab photos I took on holiday.

The above picture is of Joe pretending to fly a "Vampire" aeroplane at the museum.

Harry loves aeroplanes and so last Christmas we bought him an authentic pilots flight suit and Jason managed to get badges and a beret which he loves. In this picture we were on Llanbedrog Beach and he was busy enacting war scenes. This took me back years to my own child hood when I used to play the same games with my brothers!

Harry was flying a helicopter in this picture and by the look on his face, I think he must have been about to crash!

This is me and my Joe, Jason was insisting on taking photos of me which I dont like because of my weight gain, hair and general poor self image. We decided to pull extreme faces for this one!

We had a lovely week away, it is so relaxing on the Llyn. The best moments were the air museum because the look on Harrys face when we got there was just why I love being a mum, I also enjoyed the bonfire on the beach. Warm autumn night with leaves falling onto the sand, the magic of the fire, waves crashing on the beach and only us there - what a magical experience.

Relaxation and Peaceful Sleep

I like to add pictures to my blog because I think it brings it to life. I know, I know, those who follow me are probably sick of hearing about Mike Peters but I love this photo of him and I chose this one in particular because he is standing in the town my children are staying with their Nana right now.

Mike is standing on Llandudno promenade which is miles long and a great walk come rain or shine and in the distance you can see the Great Orme as its head dips into the water. If your eyes are good, you may be able to make out the pier as well.

As a child we came here for day trips. I loved throwing stones into the sea when the light dimmed. The smell of cooking doughnuts on the pier.... the sound of the sea and the stars in the sky. Whenever I smell doughnuts now, I always remember those days out. www.llandudnoonline.co.uk/pages/pier.html

My two sons are staying with their Nana who lives in Llandudno and my mum is there with them too. So far they have had quite alot of fun, playing in the sea, riding open topped buses, boat trips....... phew! Poor grandmas will be exhausted.

I, meanwhile am enjoying a child free bed at night and waking up of my own accord! This has been wonderful for me, actually being able to get some rest.

I have started my diet but you wouldn't think it was a diet the amount I am eating. I am planning what I eat and making sure I eat a little and often.

I ventured into Wrexham town today! Amazing! I only managed to stay there for about an hour before returning home but I did make a couple of good purchases! I treated myself to a new handbag - the organiser type because I am fed up of rooting around for medication, appointment cards, hand sanitizer etc. It was leather and only cost £8!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a really lovely handbag! I got some not so exciting drain cleaner and I purchased a granny trolley!!! I know I am only 42 but I am so so tired these days, carrying shopping bags, even small ones is a burden I can't tolerate so, yes, I am now the proud owner of a tartan granny trolley!!!

Happy Days!

Session 1 - My Hair is Falling Out

This is what my 7 year old son thinks I will look like when I lose my hair. (I wish I was that skinny!)

Well, today, I noticed that I have started to lose my hair. I first noticed my not talked about regions then, after my shower, there was hair everywhere. Being the inquisitive type, I decided to pull a bit and a chunk came out. I wasn't scared, I just felt sad because I was hoping with all of my heart that I would be one of the lucky few who didn't lose hair. Ah well, never mind!

I have promised my sons that when my hair thins I will let them help to shave my head and then I will give them a locket to keep. I think it will help them to adjust to my change of image. I don't want my children to be frightened so I think it is best to include them in the experience.

I have had a good week so far which was topped off with a wonderful party in honour of my best friends daughter. Chloe was the oldest child to have a naming ceremony at the local register office and Jason and I were honoured to be her supporting adults. What a wonderful party, one of the best I have ever been too.

The naming service was lovely and very moving. Chloe read out poems including one she had made herself. The party was great with kareoke which the kids loved and do you know what? I had my hair!!!!!!! My two sons looked handsome in their suits; Joe with a bow tie and Harry with a normal blue tie, their behaviour was impeccable and I was so incredibly proud of them.

I loved my friends friend - what a wonderful bunch of people, a mark, I think of what a lovely person she is!

So, we are back at the caravan now enjoying a little bit of sunshine! Sadly, we have to cut our holiday short so that I can get my blood test done ready for second chemo session on Thursday. We may come back for a couple more days but we will just have to see how I feel the second time around.

I am just going to enjoy this relaxing time at the seaside with my precious boys!