I was diagnosed with breast cancer on 4th February 2009 at Wrexham Maelor Hospital. When my consultant gave me the diagnosis I felt as though my whole life had been ripped from under my feet. All the plans I had for 2009, taken away from me, I was devastated.
My first reaction to him telling me I would have a lumpectomy on 13th April was "what about the Take That 2 party I was going to?" the thought of an evening out which had been planned ages ago being cancelled was awful.
The next thing I had to come to terms with was cancelling all of my dog bookings. That was the hardest I can tell you. I love my business and my dogs are not just customers, I bond with them and I treat each and every one as though they were my own. I could only manage a few at a time because I was breaking down constantly.
The realisation that I wouldn't be doing the races I was training for either was hard. My first 10k race was due to take place in Farndon on 1st March 2009 so that was cancelled. I was also going to enter the Wrexham Race for Life 2009 and run the BUPA Manchester 10k for the National Autistic Society, all of these races - cancelled because of CANCER!
However, I decided at this point that "CANCER AINT GONNA BEAT ME" and that is how I feel.
I am NOT going to stop running - even if I only manage a couple of strides
I am NOT going to stop weight watchers because its the only thing that keeps me eating well
I AM going to race in the 2010 Farndon 10K
I AM going to do the 2010 Race for Life
I AM going to stay physically fit throughout my treatment
I AM going to beat cancer
The lumpectomy was done as planned on 13th February 2009 and my results later were clear. The cancer had been removed and the lymph nodes were clear - my friends and I had a party to celebrate and too much wine was drunk!!! It is also interesting to note that at this party I watched the phone video of the Take That 2 tribute to me, looked at the photos and laughed at the stories!
The oncologist has told me that I could lose my hair with the first part of my chemotherapy treatment. I was offered the cold cap but decided that I didn't want to be stuck in hospital having chemo longer than I needed to and anyway, I would be bald for a short space of time anyway so I am opting for the bandana look - very trendy this season, so I am told!
So, tomorrow, I have my first of 12 rounds of chemotherapy and I am scared. I am scared because it is out of my control, I am scared because I dont know how I will react.
However, I am treating this first treatment as a bit of research. I plan to keep a diary of how I feel on each day so that I can find a patern. I will use this research to plan my life around my good and bad days/weeks. CANCER AINT GONNA BEAT ME I am going to beat it and lead as normal a life as I can.