I haven't updated my blog for a few days because we have been away to the caravan in Pwllheli. We had a lovely weekend break, the weather wasn't fantastic but theres something theraputic about lieing in your bed listening to the rain thud off the caravan roof.
Cancer makes you see life in a different light. The things you take for granted, simple pleasures previously ignored. I loved walking along Llanbedrog beach, a different scene with each new day. Looking for skeletons of small crabs, pretending to sail an old beaten up rowing boat stranded on the beach, saving shell creatures by throwing them back into the sea and examining rock pools. We had fun. Lots of fun. I missed bringing the dogs though so perhaps next time we come for a weekend break we will bring them too.
The side effects of chemotherapy are catching up on me; sore gums, constipation, poor circulation, dry mouth, inflamed nasal passages. The poor circulation thing bothers me the most because my skin has taken on a rather "purple" hue at times. This would be fine if it just affected my body but my face goes a funny shade too and I can see it through my make up!
Anyway; TODAY I did an important thing! I took control of the cancer! Yes, I ran!
I haven't been able to run since the biopsy because of the bruising and associated pain. I tried to run a couple of weeks ago but the bruising was still bad and it was too painful. I have surfed the net searching for other cancer sufferers who may have run through their treatment but have not been successful. I decided that the days I feel up to it, I will run. I have a short training circuit which is a pretty route around the country lanes. It is quiet and free from attacking dogs! Rather than measure my pace and distance etc which is what I was doing before the cancer struck me, I decided to take it easy and run for the pleasure.
I really enjoyed my run. The sun was shining but there was a fresh breeze, the lanes were quiet and I was sensible. I ran most of the 2 miles but when I found my heart rate was too raised, I walked then resumed the running - this is me being sensible. I returned home on a high. Not only did I have the high of running which other runners will understand but I had made a major achievement. I had run, I had run!
Sadly; I then went on to "over do" it. I cycled to my friends house for a coffee then after a hot bath to stimulate my circulation and reduce my purple hue, J and I took the dogs for a walk. It was during the dog walk I felt as though I really needed my bed. As soon as I got home..... I went to bed!
However, today was a good day - cancer hasn't beaten me and it aint gonna beat me!