Orphan the Movie and PIZZA

Last night, as the children were staying over at my mums house, we took the opportunity to go to the pictures to see ORPHAN. I love a good horror movie and this was brilliant. It was scarey, tense and kept me on the edge of my seat throughout the showing. It was a great film to take my mind off chemo tomorrow. Much better than sitting at home worrying about things I can't control!

We went to Franky's and Bennys for supper afterwards and even though I need to lose weight, I thought "what the heck" and ordered a glass of red wine with a California Pizza. Basically it was a thin crust pizza with chicken, ham and salsa topping - devine!!!

I didn't phone to check on the children because Harry has a habit of suddenly turning from a happy child to a miserable one in a second, asking to come home, pulling on those big heart strings of mine. Harry knows exactly how to play me, my mum always says "he plays you like a fine violin!" - she is right!

Joe on the other hand is my sunshine boy, always happy, always smiling and always reassuring, a great boy. He is so kind, thoughtful and logical, he would always put my mind at rest. Anyhow, I know that they are in good hands, having midnight feasts, late night explorations to the park land, playing "pooh sticks" on the bridge.....

So...... chemo today.

Numbing gel smeared all over my hands...... plastics doctor gloves on....... and pray, pray, pray with all my heart those veins come up today!

Steroids and Placebos

I managed to get about 2 hours sleep last night. Lay in bed for a while then was joined by H-Bomb who was still upset about his upset before bed and needed a cuddle. Cuddles were duly given and once he was in a slumber, I got up and read for a few hours. Morning came just as I had slipped into a deep sleep and it was time to make school sandwiches and pack bags.

I did try to sleep again but these steroids seem to be glued to my system so I have just pushed on. The sun is shining and it was too nice to waste in frustration. Jason and I took the dogs for a walk and that was really enjoyable. I played with my lovely neighbour Oliver, met his baby tortoise "Gilbert" and helped to de-matt their cat "Moomin" with my professional clippers newly purchased before my cancer diagnosis!

Last night, Harry was in tears before bed time. He found me lieing in bed and asked for a cuddle. He then asked me for a back tickle but I told him that my arms and legs were weak at the moment and my tummy hurt. After about 10 minutes he burst into tears (however, he was peeping behind his fingers) and proceeded to tell me that he always felt sick before and after food ever since he was sick in school just before Christmas. I did get his tummy checked out but he was ok.

Being autistic and having sensory issues, I cannot rule out the fact that he does experience sensations which are more severe than "normals". For example, socks and pants have to be purchased regularly because once they lose their softness they are too harsh for his skin. Socks have to be worn inside out because the seams inside irritate. I am fed up with buying clothes that never get worn because they are tight or rub. It is a sensory issue.

Harry and I are tuned into each other. As a baby, he would never sleep and I existed for 3 years with no sleep with him. As a result I was depressed and stressed and he picked up on that. He would never sleep for me but put him in the arms of someone else and he was off like a light. He plays up and his melt downs are more frequent when their are changes in routine such as the end of a school year, Christmas and the start of a new year. He had similar situations before my operation and before my first round of chemo....

This leads me to think that maybe, Harry is having "sympathy" pains, I know my mum has told me that she has. It is funny that he picked up on my poorly tummy which is what I mainly suffer with through chemo. So.... the old tried and tested method of placebos! I will purchase a bottle of vitamin syrup from the pharmacy, ask Glenn to put it in some prescription bags then I will tell him that the doctor has prescribed it for him. It worked just after Christmas and it will possibly work again.

However, I will be booking a doctors appointment for him just to rule out any possible underlying causes but I am positive my placebo will work!