Bank Holiday Weekend

I took the above flower picture for COLOUR CARNIVAL. The flowers are at my mums house and I think that the colours are divine!

It was a bank holiday weekend this time, so we all have an extra day together which is nice. Jason fitted our new garden gate which is solid wood. We have been meaning to do this for years and at last it is done. It means that we have more privacy and the dogs won't be able to see through it and bark lots. Well done Jason!

The boys went riding on Saturday and then on to the Glyn Ceiriog Horse Show where Eleri did well on her pony Ernie. I stayed at home because I was feeling so tired and it was nice to be able to chill for a bit. I must admit that I did pay a brief visit to the Grosvenor Garden Centre to purchase an anniversary card for Jason.

Sunday was a home day but was topped off well with a party at our neighbours house. We were dancing on their decking - such a cool night even in the rain! I wished I had taken some photographs.

Sunflower taken at my mums house

Today we have just been chilling. Harry made me some breakfast which consisted of two pieces of toast with marmite, crisps and an apple!

My veins are nice and ripe at the moment, ready for more chemo on Thursday. Only two more sessions to go now so I hope and pray that my veins don't let me down.

Tribute to Dogs Past and Present

There was a dog show in Rossett today, just a fun thing really. I would have liked to have taken one of my dogs but I am so so tired and I don't know why? Chemo is on Thursday 3rd September so this should be my "good" week. Mind you, if its anything like the Epi, I seemed to suffer from a cumulative effect of chemo. Anyway, enough of that stuff. Here is Wilbur and Pickles sitting together on the sofa. Its hard to believe that when Wilbur first joined our family almost 2 years ago, Pickles couldn't bear him to be anywhere near her.

Pickles is like a fluffy mountain goat at the moment. I only had the energy to clip Wilbur and I only did that because he was hot and bothered (he is a full action pup!). She is very much a "mother bear" dog. She tells all the children off who come to the house while staying at a safe distance from them. I think she is issuing warnings of "you must behave in my house". She is quite a character! She was and is my "3rd time lucky" dog.

Poppy belongs to my friend but she comes to my house on a daily basis while said friend is at work. She also stays some nights and weekends and is an integral part of our family. Harry decided to wrap her up in my dressing gown and she didn't mind at all. She is a characterful dog too.

It's hard to believe that this photo was taken 11 years ago in Erddig. I was pregnant with Joe in the picture and I am here with my mum, my darling first dog Bobbi and mums treasure of a dog, Suzi. I took mum to a rescue centre and she wasn't sure about having a dog again after losing our Ben and Sheba but I thought it was what she needed. It was love at first sight. Mum and Suzi had an instant connection. She was such a gentle and peaceful dog and I miss her.

Me and darling Bobbi on Red Nose Day!! What did we look like? She was my darling treasure of a dog. My little shadow. My little angel. Taken away too soon by cancer. She would have been 15 years old now. This week on 25th August 2009 was the 10th anniversary of her passing. I miss her with all my heart, she was such a special little dog.

Finally, rather ironically, my brothers/mums/brothers fiances dog Roscoe passed away this week. He had suffered a stroke and had been in decline for a few weeks. Sadly, his time came and he met a peaceful end.

I thank all of the dogs in my life for giving me their unconditional love, their support, their company: Patch, Ben, Sheba, Suzi, Bobbi, Sadie, Roscoe, Morgan and in life now; Pickles, Wilbur, Poppy, Al and Fudge. Without them, my life would have been / would be a much duller and sadder place.

Friday Shoot Out - Incongruous

This weeks topic INCONGRUOUS has been a challenging one. It means "out of place" (I have learnt a new word this week!). I had lots of ideas but sorry fellow FSO's I just didnt have the energy this week to go and get them. My week has been filled with appointments and tasks so, phew! I am totally whacked!

We went shopping to Broughton Retail Park for school shoes for the boys and while I was there I captured pictures of a couple of trolleys out of place.

Isn't that supposed to be a CAR parking space!!!!

http://www.broughtonshoppingpark.com

This is my sons hamster "Blossom". I bought this dolls house in order to "do" it up but my project has been on hold for some time. My sons use it for their Dr Who games or their hamsters. I always remember the dolls house my mum made for me out of a cardboard box. It was amazing, it had windows, working doors, pictures of plants growing up the walls. A few years later she bought me a "real" dolls house and it didn't capture my imagination the way my cardboard box house did.

My mum lives in what used to be the stables. The old hall is sectioned into three houses now. The surrounding land is split up into sections and my mum owns what used to be the orchard. The land is walled in and I can't make out what it would have been once upon a time. Maybe a walled garden? Anyway, the orchard is like a field and when you look at the wall and find an old door hidden by the Fig tree - how suprising? It has no use now because the field beyond is very rough and only used by cows, pheasants and wild life.

Bumper harvest this year with huge plums, grapes, figs, pears, peaches and apples!

Rocking to the Ramones

I woke up with the weight of the world on my shoulders. My head is crammed full of appointments, appointments, appointments. Things to do..... So much to do... No energy to do it! List eventually got ploughed through and I started to feel better.... Then Jason got his electric guitar out and started playing The Ramones... Jason has got alot less hair than Joey but he was good.

Harry joined in the electric fun in Harrys way. Wearing MY leather riding boots, his legs made quick time motion as he lay rocking on the floor.... what a groupy!

Groupy Harry decides to don my Afro wig (70's party coming up). What a sight to be seen with wig, riding boots and electric guitar playing loud and clear. Pity you can't hear the sound with these pictures because it really filled the atmosphere!

Joe the Roady in the background fiddling with dads amp!

Music carries on and Joe carries on regardless (what? Isn't that a British film?)

Poppy is not impressed....... I really don't think she likes the Ramones!

Wilbur likes the Ramones - he must be the second groupy! Pickles is nowhere in sight. I think at this point she must have made a get away into the garden of peace.

What a fun way to unwind!

Good Results!

Mum, Me, Fudge and Al in Mums back garden (Harry took the photo)

I had good news from the hospital today. I had a check up with my Breast Surgeon, Mr Cochrane who is a complete teddy bear and everything is fine. He checked my bones, liver, lungs, breasts (obviously) and give me a clean bill of health. He also confirmed that because of my ample boobs he was able to remove a good clear margin which gives me a good prognosis. He was so sweet, took time to talk to me and was very reassuring. As you can imagine, I left the hospital with a big smile on my face. I will have a mammogram in January followed by a consultation with him in February.

In addition to this, I got chatting to some fab people at the unit. One goes to the support group, another was someone we just got talking too and we had a cup of tea and a chat. Next to those lovely painted windows seen in my earlier blog.

I was completely shattered so ended up spending a couple of hours catching up on sleep. The children were spending the day with mum - they had plans to pick some apples for me. Yesterday they collected apples and made apple pie, eating it fresh from the oven! It was lovely for the children and for me because they collected me some peaches too!

Joe wants me to make apple pancakes but I will have to dig out the recipe.

I had my new lower retainer fitted AND, I brought the mould of my lower teeth home for Harry to look at - he loves things like that, skeletons and stuff...

So, altogether a very successful day!

Blinking Hospitals and Nasty People

As you may know, I am not in the best of mind sets at the moment. I am attributing it to the end of chemo which is now in sight and September is approaching, not a good time for me. So I have all of these emotions raging inside me and I feel all mixed up!

I had a dental check up last week and although my gums are sore and I have ulcers, the dentist is pleased with the over all condition of my gums. However, he did give me a pep talk about wearing my retainers. My braces were taken off at the start of the year then when I found a lump in my breast a week later, I started this cancer roller coaster ride, now it is slowing down a little I need to get things in order. I phoned Chester City Hospital and arranged to see an orthodontist.

So today, I was in Chester City Hospital. Good news is that my top retainer is still good but because of my teeth grinding I am having a new lower retainer made, that will be fitted at an appointment tomorrow.

When I got to the hospital I was desperate for the loo. There was a queue on the corridor with two loos in action and the disabled loo free. I turned to the lady waiting and said rather politely "maybe we could make use of the disabled toilet as there is no-one waiting". The lady looked at me as though I was something the cat dragged in and almost barked at me "but it is for the disabled". Taken aback by her rather nasty attitude towards me (she had probably seen my hair cut by chemo and jumped to her own conclusions). I smiled at her and replied calmly "mmmmm, I wonder if having cancer can be classed as being disabled? mmm I rather think it does" at this point, I used the disabled loo and when I came out she couldn't meet my gaze.

On my way to the hospital I realised that I had a breast appointment sometime this week. Had I missed it? Oh panic! Quick telephone call later and I was told my appointment was at 9.30am tomorrow - phew! So a hospital day tomorrow. Wrexham Maelor in the morning and Chester City in the afternoon - and this was supposed to be my hospital week off!

Next week I have blood work booked followed by chemo!

Blinking hospitals!

I Feel Like I have Lost a Year of My Life

I do, I really do!

I look back on 2009 from the date I found the lump in January, through all my treatment and the fact that I won't start feeling myself until the new year and it upsets me because my entire world has been turned upside down.

.At this point; I know I should be grateful. Grateful that I found the lump and it hadn't spread and I am having treatment and I am alive but I feel as though I was FORCED onto a roller coaster ride I didn't want to go on and my life has run away with me. Roller coasters make you feel YUK so I think its a fairly good description of life as a cancer fighter

:0( No running

:0( No swimming

:0( No dog grooming business although some of my customers have been incredibly loyal

:0( I have missed out on so much fun with my kids; zoo trips, camping, riding........

:0( So tired all of the time I hate having to choose what activity I will do today

:0( Missed a great Take That Tribute party on 13th Feb when I was being sliced open

:0( Missed out on trips away with my friend

:0( Didn't get that family holiday abroad we were longing for

Ooooooh I could go on and on and on and on and on and on

Sorry I am being a bit moany today but sometimes being a Cancer Fighter makes me cross!

Animals are Such a Joy!

This is Elsa. I adopted her from the "Cavy Haven" a few years back. She should have long hair reaching to the floor but one of her friends has been cutting it for her. In guineapig terms, this is called "barbering". She is such a lovely little guineapig, so kind and gentle, a real joy to have in our family. She was called Elsa because her "mane" used to look like that of a lion. I like the way it has been barbered though because you can see her pretty little face.

Hmmm. Pickles and Wilbur always love to destroy my cushions and this is a new one! As soon as I shouted "STOP!" they instantly dropped the cushion and Wilbur looked at me as if to say "what have I done?" and Pickles backed away from the cushion looking as though she was sayint "it wasn't me.... I didn't do it...."

This is Pickles looking rather woolly. Someone once said that she looks like a goat when she is fluffy like this.

I do love my animals. They keep me going...... they give me a purpose to get my act together every day, they give me unlimited entertainment. I just love to watch them and talk to them. I cannot imagine a world without animals.

Great Weekend and Colour Carnival

Mums dog Al (Border Terrier)

I have had such a great weekend! It started off with spending the day with friends on Thursday. Such comfortable people to be around, a great family, warm and friendly. Thankyou Alvin and Llinos xx

Brothers dog: Roscoe aged 16

On Friday, my friend Sharon and her husband Richard came to visit with their lovely black labrador Jess! I first "met" Sharon on the Weight Watchers NCU site and then on Facebook. We have developed our friendship to the point that Sharon did the Race For Life in my honour this year. This was such a difficult feat for her because of her own medical issues, a brave and wonderful lady. Sharon was exactly how I expected her to be, kind, friendly... my only regret is that they live so far away.

Mums dog Fudge (the escape artist)

Saturday was quiet but we met up with Sharon, Richard and Jess again before their return journey home. My gorgeous boys came home on Friday, they gave me lovely little gifts but the best of all, they showered me with hugs and kisses. The boys and I went to watch TV in my bedroom and giggled throughout "Austin Powers"

COLOUR CARNIVAL: Flamingos at Chester Zoo. Photography curtesy of Jason Williams

So today is Sunday and we are relaxing at home, enjoying my children and planning the week ahead.

Llinos, Eleri, Joseff, Harry and Me at Oswestry Show. Photographs curtesy of Jason Williams

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt that I had another lump in my other breast. They then insisted on canulating me and I refused until they let me have the freeze spray, they kept telling me I couldnt have the freeze spray because it was too expensive and I remember the feeling of upset and distress.

So on that note.....................

NB: If you would like to see more of Jasons photos, visit www.flickr.com/photos/jasonwilliams

Friday Shoot Out - My Town - Signs

This is Bank Street in Wrexham town. You can see my son Joseff in the shot. It is such a narrow street and its nickname is "Little Soho". It is fully of shops such as a butchers, opticians, jewellers (family owned, not chain), fancy dress, cafe, shoe repairs, photographers, plus others. I like this street, one of my favourites of Wrexham town because it is pretty much unchanged. Much of Wrexham has been changed by developers. All the beautiful quaint streets and shops including the old victorian hippodrome - ripped down!

You can see all of the different signs here.
British Home Stores - a large department store chain. You can see the sign welcoming you into the shop. It is written in welsh and says "Welcome to Wrexham BHS".
My mum and sons were visiting this store so that Harry could "use the facilites!"

Queens Square outside the Guildhall Buildings. When HM the Queen was crowned, she visited all of the towns and cities in her common wealth. This is what she had to unveil. Both mum and I agree that it is pretty much a disappointment! Maybe a reflection of the socialist voice of the town?

A closer look at the sign on the "monument". There is a version in welsh on the other side but I didn't manage to get a good shot of that.

I was glad I had my camera in my handbag when we went to the cinema to see "Orphan" because I came across this fun sign and bagged it for my shoot out!

Have a very good weekend!

Mouth Ulcers

Before BC, I had been through extensive orthodontic work to correct my front teeth. Luckily, the work was done on the NHS because it was functional rather than cosmetic.

When I was younger, I had an accident which pushed one of my front teeth back. The dentist wouldn't do anything about it and over the years, especially after having children, they became quite bad to the point that I couldn't eat properly.

Over 3 years I had tram line braces and they were taken off at the start of this year just before I found my lump. I was given retainers to wear and I don't mind them at all but since being on chemo I haven't really been able to wear them because of the sore gums etc.

My mouth has become much better since changing chemo so I started to wear my retainers again. However, the ulcers have come back and my gums are much sorer than ever before.

Ah well, trip to the dentist tomorrow then maybe in the new year I can have my veneers done and wear a brand new smile :0)

Guineapigs!

I had my first ever guineapig for my 7th birthday. He was a tri-coloured Abyssinian and he lived to the ripe old age of 7 years! His name was Fluffy. I remember the day he came into my life and all the joy he gave me. Years of friendship. I used to sit on a set of ladders in the shed and tell him all of my troubles. Fluffy used to sit there with a very knowledgeable expression on his face as if he knew exactly what I was talking about.

Since Fluffy, there have been lots and lots more little friends; King, Princess, Tufty, Pinky, Perky, Clover, Twigwidge, Pierre, Nibbles, Poppy, Mouse, Betty, Bumble, Jim, Willow, Zippy, Albert, Snowdrop, Lucy, Thistle, Pixie..... to name but a few. These are the ones who have passed on.

My entourage now consists of Jessica (the cream one), Elsa (the long haired one), Jilly (the grey one), Snowdrop 2,Polly, Patch and Arthur. I love watching them live their little lives, I love hearing them calling me, they are lovely little creatures.

Today I lay on the sun lounger. It is quite warm at 20 degrees, the wind was blowing hard (still is) and I lay there with the warm wind carressing my body, listening to the wind chimes, watching the leaves and trees dance their wind induced dance. What a good day to dry washing!

So at that point, I decided that it was time to bath my guineapigs! I use lovely shampoo from Gorgeous Guineas http://www.gorgeousguineas.co.uk/ it is made from natural products and contains no nasty SSL's - I use it on my dogs too. You see, guineapigs are prone to various skin conditions such as fungal infections and mite problems so it is important to bath them in the appropriate products and keep n eye on their coat for signs of problems.

I selected Patch to be the first guinea bathed because I noticed he had been biting his hind leg and as it is harvest mite season, thought he would benefit from the first soak. So "Lice and Easy" shampoo it was! He really, really enjoyed his bath! Amazing, because most of my little friends hate it and squeak the house down. I trimmed his coat first because he has longer hair at the back which has a tendancy to pick up dirt! Now, he is in the garden enjoying his grass and natural wind drying!

If you have the pleasure of being owned by a guineapig then you may like to visit the following web sites http://www.oginet.com/ and http://www.petergurney.co.uk/ These web pages are filled with guineapig advice, most especially how to treat them if they are ill. Most products are not licenced for use on GP's and many vets do not know much about the little creatures. I have successfully treated and cured my own guineapigs over the years and have only had to seek professional help when antibiotics or euthenasia are needed. The best tip I can give a GP owner is.... any signs of fungal infection..... athletes foot powder adn cream - works every time!

Relaxation and Peaceful Sleep

I like to add pictures to my blog because I think it brings it to life. I know, I know, those who follow me are probably sick of hearing about Mike Peters but I love this photo of him and I chose this one in particular because he is standing in the town my children are staying with their Nana right now.

Mike is standing on Llandudno promenade which is miles long and a great walk come rain or shine and in the distance you can see the Great Orme as its head dips into the water. If your eyes are good, you may be able to make out the pier as well.

As a child we came here for day trips. I loved throwing stones into the sea when the light dimmed. The smell of cooking doughnuts on the pier.... the sound of the sea and the stars in the sky. Whenever I smell doughnuts now, I always remember those days out. www.llandudnoonline.co.uk/pages/pier.html

My two sons are staying with their Nana who lives in Llandudno and my mum is there with them too. So far they have had quite alot of fun, playing in the sea, riding open topped buses, boat trips....... phew! Poor grandmas will be exhausted.

I, meanwhile am enjoying a child free bed at night and waking up of my own accord! This has been wonderful for me, actually being able to get some rest.

I have started my diet but you wouldn't think it was a diet the amount I am eating. I am planning what I eat and making sure I eat a little and often.

I ventured into Wrexham town today! Amazing! I only managed to stay there for about an hour before returning home but I did make a couple of good purchases! I treated myself to a new handbag - the organiser type because I am fed up of rooting around for medication, appointment cards, hand sanitizer etc. It was leather and only cost £8!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a really lovely handbag! I got some not so exciting drain cleaner and I purchased a granny trolley!!! I know I am only 42 but I am so so tired these days, carrying shopping bags, even small ones is a burden I can't tolerate so, yes, I am now the proud owner of a tartan granny trolley!!!

Happy Days!

New Camera and Kid Free Week

This is the camera I have ordered from Amazon UK www.amazon.uk.co and it is due to arrive tomorrow. This is all thanks to my blogging friends who have got me photographing everywhere I live for the COLOUR CARNIVAL and FRIDAY SHOOT OUT. I never, ever believed that I could have so much fun with a camera.

This is quite a twist for our family! I am the animal addict in the house and have ridden horses since being a tot. My husband and two sons are now learning to ride! My husband is an ameteur photographer adn now I am learning to take photos! What a twist of fate! Fun to share hobbies as a family though!

We took the children along with my mum to my husbands mums house yesterday. This is the furthest apart we have ever been for the longest time and with two of my boys gone at the same time. It was an emotional parting for me and especially for Harry who didn't want to let me go.

Thursday's chemo has knocked me for six this week, probably because it is "that time of the month". I know, I know, it shouldn't be happening and even my Oncologist is amazed! I have felt very shaky, very weak with no strength in my arms. Things are getting better though and the break away from being a mum will help me gain some strength so that I can have fun with my boys before they return to school and before my next set of chemo.

Just received a text from the Nain and Nanas and they are in Conwy on an open topped bus! Sounds like they are having fun!!!

I have decided that as I am so close to the end of chemo, I am going to get going on my fitness regime starting with a diet. Now readers, don't freak out at me! I am a sensible person, I love food too much to be silly about it. I am just going to adopt my old approach of healthy eating. Since chemo, I have been diving for carbs and cheese so that has got to stop, I have gained 14 lbs which is NOT good.

Feeling Weird (Colour Carnival)

At the Shooting Star Unit where I receive my treatment, there are lots of large windows. Some look out onto cultivated garden areas, works of art and others are covered in murials such as these. Each tile is individually painted and when the sun shines through them, the colours are spectacular. I love them. I have entered them into the COLOUR CARNIVAL.

So sorry that my pictures don't capture their beauty. I have ordered a new camara though, moving on from an old fashioned snappy to something in between so maybe I can take some better shots at a later date.
I had chemo on Thursday, session 7 - I have the usual side effects; weakness, digestive upset, stomach acid, tiredness, head buzzing. Normally by now the weakness has passed but my arms feel so weak it is difficult even holding them up to type. My temperature is ok, feel ok (as much as you can when your body is filled with poisen) but my arms are freaky! Lets hope this is just a cumulative effect of CMF and it will pass soon.




My boys are back from camping at Alvin and Llinos's house and had a fab time, our friends are so hospitable and lovely, good friends to have! I am glad they are back home though, the house was quiet without them. Mind you, it was nice having a little peace and my dogs kept me company.



Had a bit of a freaky moment last night though. Pickles has a little infection around her mouth. I have washed her beard with cold tar soap and treated it with antisceptic cream and its getting better but I found her glands up around her neck. My darling dog Bobbi was the same age as Pickles when I made the same discovery and it turned out that she had lymphoma..... I keep telling myself that her glands are up because of the small infection..... I can't help but worry though....... If they don't go down by the end of the week I will go to see my vet Howard Davies at Rhyd Broughton Vetinary Centre.

Friday Shoot Out - Relaxation (a day early)

So many ways to chill and relax..... I have learnt them all since February 2009 and my war with breast cancer, so how do I capture them on film? Great challenge. I put on my thinking cap and came up with a selection of photographs. My first is...... watching my baby boys sleep. When they sleep they are so innocent, full of peace and my heart brims with sincere and pure love for them. Above is Harry aged 8.

Above: my little Sunshine Boy - Joseff aged 10

I love it on the beach no matter what the weather. It is so lovely just to sit and watch the waves, listen to the sound of the sea, collect stones and shells....... and writing in the sand!!!!!

I love walking in the woods, again, no matter what the season, there is a gift in each one. Here Springtime is depicted in Darland Woods with the first scatterings of heavenly Bluebells and wild garlic.... ooooh I can just smell the cascade of perfume - wonderful!

Of course I love parties! Relaxing with friends, fun with good, sincere friends.

Unplanned days out with my family and the dogs. Always good fun when you just "follow your nose and heart"

Finally, relaxation for me is knowing that my children are healthy, happy and safe. When those three elements come together I can truly relax and enjoy life.

Orphan the Movie and PIZZA

Last night, as the children were staying over at my mums house, we took the opportunity to go to the pictures to see ORPHAN. I love a good horror movie and this was brilliant. It was scarey, tense and kept me on the edge of my seat throughout the showing. It was a great film to take my mind off chemo tomorrow. Much better than sitting at home worrying about things I can't control!

We went to Franky's and Bennys for supper afterwards and even though I need to lose weight, I thought "what the heck" and ordered a glass of red wine with a California Pizza. Basically it was a thin crust pizza with chicken, ham and salsa topping - devine!!!

I didn't phone to check on the children because Harry has a habit of suddenly turning from a happy child to a miserable one in a second, asking to come home, pulling on those big heart strings of mine. Harry knows exactly how to play me, my mum always says "he plays you like a fine violin!" - she is right!

Joe on the other hand is my sunshine boy, always happy, always smiling and always reassuring, a great boy. He is so kind, thoughtful and logical, he would always put my mind at rest. Anyhow, I know that they are in good hands, having midnight feasts, late night explorations to the park land, playing "pooh sticks" on the bridge.....

So...... chemo today.

Numbing gel smeared all over my hands...... plastics doctor gloves on....... and pray, pray, pray with all my heart those veins come up today!

Oncologist, bloodwork and phew! all OK

More and more often since my warfare with cancer started, I am seeing butterflies. Not just butterflies in the wild but they seem to be appearing to me all the time. In blogs, through friends (Sherry) and in products I come across every day. This particular butterfly landed on my husbands knee when he visited the newest attraction, the "butterfly house" at Chester Zoo www.chesterzoo.co.uk I have seen Robins (the bird) representative of my brother Peter, why butterflies? Maybe it is because they are re-born from an "ugly" (sorry butterflies) state and fly with beauty and grace into a new life. This is symbolic of the "new" me, re-born and re-newed following my war with cancer. What do you think?

Today, I was so nervous. I felt sick. I was going to the hospital for my bloods but also to see the oncologist. I took my RESCUE REMEDY, my husband "power dressed" and off we went. www.bachcentre.com

I called in to see my friend who was having her third lot of FEC today and took her some flowers, stocks. The perfume was gorgeous then I wondered, would it irritate her? Anyway, she loved the flowers and Gwen was caring for her today.

The bloods were ok. A new blood nurse today but so very gentle and kind. She gave me a tip for getting my veins up - wear those disposable plastic gloves that the docs wear! Will try that tomorrow! My vein is quite hard now so it hurt but not too badly.

The meeting with my oncologost Dr Champion went really well. She was so kind and reassuring. My appointment with the radiotherapy department in Glan Clwyd will probably be on 7th September, the Monday before my last chemo. Another symbolic day because although Peter died on the 10th, it was actually on a Monday and he was buried on the Thursday. It will be an emotional week for me.

I will be starting Tamoxofin straight after chemo and then I will be having herceptin for a year as soon as the radiotherapy is complete. We discussed the trial and I politely declined giving no explanation. I am not in the habit of name dropping, sometimes it does one no favours at all. She was quite happy with my choice but puzzled because I had given her such a grilling on the side effects of Tamoxofin. I just explained that I have little boys who need me and I am only concerned with the longevity of my life and not the quality through treatment.

So.... it went really well! I relaxed and fell asleep for almost 4 hours!

We are going to the cinema tonight to see the new film "Orphan" - ooh I love a good horror! The children are staying over with my mum so that we have a clear run for chemo in the morning.

Dogs, Dogs, Dogs, Rabbits, Dogs

Above: Pickles thinks its time for a groom (she hates it!)

As I type, I am dodging Pickles as she tries her best to steal my cup of tea! She has already had her cup of tea this morning but one is never enough. So, as I type, she jumps up on the chair next to me and I have to move my cup from one place to the next!

Above: Wilbur, such a soft boy!

Mmmmm, this morning was NOT a good morning to be a dog owner! I entered the room only to find that Wilbur had a dicky tummy during the night. The girls (Pickles & Poppy) were subdued and looked thoroughly disgusted as I set about cleaning up the mess. Wilbur??? No shame!!!

Above: Harry and Poppy

I love the picture above not because of its beauty or technical what ever but just the message it gives out "a boy and his dog".

Above: Harry holding a blurred Bramble

I have three rabbits called Ralph, Bramble and Duffy. The fourth, Snuggles is out on loan to my friends daughter and is companion to her own little rabbit called Albert.

Poor old Duffy Rabbit has no tail! I had her and Bramble as a pair from a rescue centre and they are mother and daughter. I couldn't work out why she looked so different until the realisation dawned on me. She is such a sweetie!

Above: Poppy in one of her sunbathing positions in my garden

I decided to share my animals with you today because they are my life, my family, they, in their own "mute" way, are my rocks too. They provide me with normality and fun through this very difficult year. Like children, they need to be cared for and caring for them stops me from wallowing in self pity.

Above: Pickles and Wilbur surveying their kingdom

Yes, dogs are hard work. My doors are smeared with paw prints, the laminate floor is scattered with leaves and more paw prints..... but..... I wouldn't swap it for the world. I could have a posh home but my home is filled with life and love and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thank you Pickles, Wilbur and Poppy (and the rabbits and guineapigs) for keeping me going this year xxxxx

Above: Pickles guarding "her" place on the sofa!

Above: Poppy loves to dig for MOLES!